Who said something about 2017?

‘Hello!!’

Knocks on the door.  Tentative.

‘Anybody here?!?’

Dusty around here, isn’t it?  Yeah.  Sorry about that.  I’ve been reading but not writing, obviously, and this little corner of the interweb has been neglected.  Again.  Sigh.  Sorry.

Moving on!

I really don’t have anything to report.  Did we March?  Yes, we did.  It was awesome.  I hope all the millions of people who marched that day will continue the grass roots effort to reclaim our country from the dangerous demagogues who have taken control.  I keep thinking of that Margaret Mead quote:

‘Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has.’

I feel discouraged that we have to fight these same damned fights all over again.  But, we will.  And, when I feel discouraged, I think about the black, gay, women friends that I have and…  yeah.  Let’s keep fighting.  Some people have never had the luxury of NOT fighting.

So, what else is going on?  Things are on a fairly even keel with T.  She was laid off in November and remains unemployed to date.  She is making a real effort to find a job but things are slow in her line of work.  It will pick up in a month or so…

This has been hard on her, of course.  And I am sympathetic to her situation.  But, truthfully, I’m glad that we are living apart.  The complaining and negativity would have tanked me, would have brought me so far down.  It’s embarrassing to admit, but I am certain that you both understand.

As it is, her family is at hand and they have taken up the slack.  They are so delighted to have her back in the neighborhood!  Her mom pops in frequently and does stuff like washes the dishes and straightens up.  It would drive me crazy but T likes it.  Most of the time.

What else?  I’ve had my niece over several times for meals or to spend the night.  She is homesick, and while I am not her nuclear family, I am at least a mom and I think she just needs a different energy sometimes.  We’ve had a good time hanging out.  I have shown her a couple of cooking tips and she can’t wait to cook for her family when she goes home for a visit.  It’s actually kind of funny, for being raised in this country, she and her siblings know very little about ‘typical’ American food!  Her mom is Ukrainian and my brother certainly never cooked, so she is more accustomed to a bowl of borsht and a plate of pelmenies than a hamburger and fries.  I showed her how to cook a butternut squash and a couple of chicken breasts in the same pan in the oven.  Ha!  So simple!  Simple is my only speed when it comes to cooking.  Fortunately, she has liked it all so far.

Let’s see…  the kidney donation thing is moving forward incrementally.  Lisa is active on the list again and the donor coordinator contacted me for some blood work.  The whole process is quite labyrinthine, but the fact that I work in a hospital that has a kidney transplant center will help.  I’ll be able to have some of the testing here.  First up, a blood draw for tissue typing.

I’m planning some stuff for when I retire (4 months, 1 week).  I’m 98% sure that this is the right thing to do, but I vacillate.  It’s kind of crazy, kind of scary.  I don’t know… do you think it’s crazy?  Retire and be poor but free, or keep working and kill my spirit slowly? I feel in my bones that it is the right decision.  I guess I’ll find out!

In an attempt to post *something* before another season slips by, I’ll end this here.  I hope you both are doing well and things are going your way!  Cheers, m’dears!

This year things will be better

They have to be, right?

I have been doing a whole lotta thinking of late, naturally.  About things like longevity and mortality and, you know, the meaning of life.  Just the average thoughts that come up when one's mother dies and then the New Year rolls around.

For the short term, I have a couple of resolutions.  Or, perhaps I'll call them adjustments.  They are simple and achievable, and oh-so-average.  That's ok, though, because we all want to do these things and collectively we can encourage each other.  They are:

• Get back to a regular work out schedule and ride my bike as often as the weather permits.  I worked out regularly last year until my mum got sick.  And, I rode my bike even when I didn't have the time to make it to the gym.  That is, I rode until the weather got too crappy and until I had to start going over to the parent's house in the evening as well as the morning.  There just wasn't enough time at that point. So, without regular exercise... let's just say that my pants are uncomfortably tight right now and I don't like it.
• Reduce alcohol consumption to weekends only (with a caveat for special occasions).  Last year T and I went teetotal for the month of January and weekends only for the month of February.  After that our imbibition gradually crept up until we were drinking every day after work and all day long on the weekends.  That's just too much.  For one thing, it's a lot of empty calories.  For another thing, I don't like to feel that I need a drink.  I want to drink because I enjoy the taste or the fizziness of the bubbles not because I had a rough day at the office.  T is not joining me this year (which bugs me just a little) but so far so good.  I've actually been enjoying our delicious tap water and really feeling good about preserving my liver rather than pickling it.
• Increase my time spent meditating.  I feel quite strongly the need to spend more time with an inward focus.  I may need to rearrange some physical spaces in my house to make this possible, but that's easily done.  The harder part of it is dedicating the time and encouraging the other members of my household to leave me alone.

Just those three adjustments for 2012.  There is one that fell by the wayside in 2011 that I would like to get back to, but I'm not going to pressure myself over it.  That one was reducing the amount of *stuff* in my basement.  I was going to go through a box a week but I only did about 7 or so boxes.  I really would love to take a month off and take everything out of my basement, throw 3/4's of it away, build some shelves and storage and put the rest back in an orderly manner.  That would be a pleasure!  I'll work on saving up the time and resources for that, but in the meantime it wouldn't hurt to just get rid of stuff.

Besides these immediate adjustments, I have been spending some time thinking about what is important to me in the long term.  I would like to retire in 2 years and 5 months (yeah, you bet I'm counting) and in order to do that I need to be confident about my goals and directions.  I will not be able to stop working completely, but I would very much like to get off the 40 hour/week schedule.  That is a major goal.  

So, my priorities for the rest of my life are this:

• Make sure Zoe is safe and set up in some comfortable situation (as much as a parent can with an adult child)
• Spend time regularly with my Pop
• Work enough to make ends meet and have benefits
• Have time to ponder and to pursue interests

These are not unreachable, unrealistic goals, right?  I sorely need the time to ponder.  I need quiet and undisturbed time on a regular basis.  I would like to get my thoughts in order and write more and communicate better and for this I need to be able to sit and think... I'd also like more time to walk the dog and pet the cats.  

Those are my resolutions, adjustments, goals and plans.  What are yours?

Work Plans

Here’s what I’m thinking about today: work, and how to do less of it.

So, my partner has been laid off and working only sporadically for the last year and a half. This is hard on both of us. Partly because of the money, of course, and partly because of the self esteem (for her) and the resentment (for me). I’m trying not to be resentful, really I am! It’s just that I hardly ever get to just hang around at home and I would love to do that more. I can tell you one thing for sure, if I had all the time off that she does, the house would be cleaner, the laundry would be caught up, the tv would NOT be on… but, to be fair, the grass would not be cut, the weeds would not be pulled… etc. She does the chores she likes. And, she cooks dinner about 95% of the time. Thank the goddess for that, otherwise we might starve. I hate to cook.

I have 16 years of service at my present employer. How did it rack up so high? Day by day, I guess. I was only going to work here a couple of years…. So, my thought now is that I will stick it out for 4 more years and get to 20. At that point, I would like to either work here part time, say 20 hours a week, or work somewhere entirely different. I won’t be old enough to collect retirement for a few more years, but I’ll be getting close. The more sensible thing would be to work here part time, since I’ll be accruing time off and sick leave at the highest rate and have all that seniority. I might look into a job share position. Ideally, I’d like to work two 10s.

The other option I am considering is training for medical coding. A lot of coders work from home, even those in my archaic department. Work one day in the office and a couple of days from home. That would be do-able.

Back to the girlfriend: she wants to do something different, and I think that is a good idea. She has been in construction for 30 years and it has taken a toll on her body. She is getting too old and stiff and sore to keep up that kind of physical work. And yet, she doesn’t want a sitting down job. She really is not an office worker. Her thought now is to work with animals, which would be perfect for her. She is looking into dog grooming, which at first I felt ambivalent about. But, what the hell, it’s her life and if that would make her happy and bring in enough income, what do I care? So she comes home smelling like a wet dog – that’s what showers are for.

She is also going back to community college just to explore some other options. This is huge for her. She hasn’t set foot in a classroom for a very long time. She is pretty nervous about it but willing to go. I’m very proud of her for that. Tonight is her first class!

So, I told her that she needed a 4 year plan. She needs to pick something and get it going well enough to pay the bills in the next 4 years. Then I can move to my part time plan and have a little spare time to futz around the house. We’ll both have a 4 year plan. I think it will work.

Here's to the future!