Well, well, well.
I finished NaNoWriMo with another win, but it was difficult. Note to self: Do NOT take a week off in November! Second note to self: If impaneled on a jury, get a lighter weight laptop! I had a lot of catching up to do and it was very difficult, not counting schlepping the dinosaur age computer downtown every day. I had a 6k word day followed by a 5k word day and those two back to back nearly fried my brain. But, I made it to 50k within the time, so... yes. Scraped a win.
My duty to the criminal justice system in my county ended on 12/19. It was a rough month! The Grand Jury doesn't hear trials (as I'm sure you know) but hears testimony from police and witnesses and decides if the DA has enough evidence to indict. It's only for felonies. And, the way it is set up here is that there are three juries: #1 hears murder, rape and child abuse cases; #2 hears drug crimes; #3 hears property crimes. I was on #3, but let me tell you, there was a LOT of crossover from jury #1 into our jury. We heard a murder case (gruesome, with surveillance video and autopsy photos), rape cases, a pedophile case, domestic violence, and an officer involved shooting. There was nothing 'property crime' about our duties. Oh, sure, there were dozens and dozens of car thefts, embezzlement, identity thefts, burglary, etc, but our jury duty was often distressing, horrifying, overwhelming and triggering. Thankfully, we had an excellent group. Only one supporter of the current regime and he was not a raving lunatic but a retired businessman. The other six were as liberal as could be, self included. In fact, we got along so well that we are having a jury reunion in February.
Jury duty ended on 12/19 and the kid and her gang arrived on the 12/22. Her gang includes herself, her husband, her big enthusiastic golden retriever, and, now, the husband's 17 year old nephew. That's a houseful! I had to do some furniture shifting and bed rearranging to get it all sorted out. We had a lovely time together, though, despite the somewhat crowded conditions. I got to spend some quality time with my darling daughter, and nothing beats that.
An aside: The teenager is a good kid, as far as teenagers go. Lol. Poor thing, his parents are both flakes (his dad is Rob's favorite brother). He was living with his mom but she decided to move in with her boyfriend and didn't have the space or the interest in having her only child live with her. I'm sure he's better off not being there, but what a crappy thing to do to your only child. His dad lives in a travel trailer with his own mom, while they are remodeling her house. No room for a third person there. His other grandmother said he could come for a week or so but that she was about to leave for Arizona to her senior snowbird community and he wouldn't be able to come with her. So, basically, every immediate adult in his life dropped the ball. So, he moved from Florida to Washington to live with his aunt and uncle.
Here's a funny thing: about a week after he moved in with them, I had an email from Zoe apologizing for her behavior as a teen. That made me laugh. The boy had an online girlfriend and ALL he would do was sit in his room on the computer. It was driving Zoe mad! I laughed and laughed... In a turn of good luck, his virtual gf broke up with him and a couple of days later two girls at his real life high school asked him to sit with them at lunch. One has since asked him to the winter formal, and now he has a real girlfriend. All is well.
Saving the best for last: My big news is that I finally did it. I broke up with T. It ended 'not with a bang but a whimper'. We both acknowledged that this relationship had run its course and wasn't working for either of us. Yes, I initiated the break up, and I owned that, but it hasn't been good for a long time, and T agreed with me. We parted amicably and I hope we can remain friends. We still have details to sort out - separating our phone accounts, closing our shared bank account, she needs to collect a bunch of furniture and stuff from my house... all of that and more.
It was such a tremendous relief!
Here's the thing. All of that furniture shifting was motivating. Last month I had given my nice leather couch, chair and ottoman to my cousin. The set was very nice but too big for me and too big for my house. I asked T if she wanted it and was told no. I tried to sell it to various people I know and no one wanted it. I finally found someone who would really like to have it and that was my cousin who doesn't have any cash to spare. So, I gave it to her. It felt so good to get it out of the house! It was like a plug being pulled. The energy in the downstairs started to flow better. So, when I had the kids coming for five days and had to do some rearranging in the bedrooms, well, I just kept on with the energy improvement efforts. After they left, I took T's big dresser out of my bedroom and put it (temporarily) in the guest room (aka: Zoe's room). I asked T if she wanted the bedroom set. She had brought it from her old house to mine when we moved in together. I had already switched out the enormous bed frame. Now the giant dresser is out of my room and the nightstands are going today. She said that she wants the furniture for her brother, but she can't pick it up for a while. That's cool. As long as it's out of my way, and out of my bedroom. Again, the energy feels so much better!
So, I'm feeling pretty good! Feeling like the new year has a lot of potential to be awesome. I get to start out with the release from an untenable situation and that feels wonderful. I have good stuff planned for the coming year. My rancher friend has moved heaven and earth in order to take a vacation and is coming to visit for a week. Another friend and I have a plan to travel to Chicago and do some crazy public service project... ok, not crazy, it'll be fun! I think we are going to be planting native grasses on the lake shore. Whatever! The point is to meet up and have fun in real life. My friend KA and I are planning a long car trip. And, I will be going to Long Beach to visit Lisa (just as soon as her sister leaves). I will also be teaching more self defense, and who knows what else. Staying busy!
Happy New Year, friends! I hope the coming year is good to us all.
Blessings of the Goddess on you and your family from me and mine.
Love,
E
Showing posts with label girlfriend. Show all posts
Showing posts with label girlfriend. Show all posts
31 December 2017
26 September 2016
Update from the PNW
So, the camping trip. It went well. It rained for a day and a half, which was actually quite pleasant. The vintage trailer has an awning and the neighbors brought their free-standing awning, so we had some covered outdoor space.
In a rainy climate, there is little as important as covered outdoor space.
Well, ok, yeah, food and stuff. But, everyone needs a place to go outside and breath and not get rained on. We need that here. It's important. And, it's important to all of us, not just the smokers, although it's essential for them.
So. Dry. Mostly.
The campground was lovely. Towering firs so darkly green, big leaf maple begin to change color, the fall wildflowers holding their heads up in the rain. And, of course, the ferns and mosses. Aahhhh... forest bathing was wonderful. I just typed 'forest breathing' instead... should have left it. It's the breath, always.
Yes, we had a good time. Occasionally I felt like T and I could descend into snippiness, but we rose above it.
We sat around the fire, we hiked some of the trails, we took our dogs to the fenced off leash area (which was quite a hike by itself!), we took a nap or two. All good. On one of the nights, the clouds had cleared out and we walked up to the big empty meadow to take in the stars. Oh, so fine to see them! Living in the city takes away so much starshine, and if you add the cloudy skies to it, well, we rarely get that amount of beautiful stargazing in one evening. It was Stellar! Lol!
It was good for us to get out of town for a few days. It was quiet and relaxing.
We've had a few flare ups in the week since, but overall... holding somewhat steady. T has another challenge coming up this weekend, though. I'm going down to California to visit my very ill best friend. She got tickets for us to see Dolly Parton at the Hollywood Bowl! I've had to remind T a couple of times lately that I am allowed to have friends and to visit/hang out with them.
Other than that, friends, it's been pretty much ok around here. What's happening in your world?
In a rainy climate, there is little as important as covered outdoor space.
Well, ok, yeah, food and stuff. But, everyone needs a place to go outside and breath and not get rained on. We need that here. It's important. And, it's important to all of us, not just the smokers, although it's essential for them.
So. Dry. Mostly.
The campground was lovely. Towering firs so darkly green, big leaf maple begin to change color, the fall wildflowers holding their heads up in the rain. And, of course, the ferns and mosses. Aahhhh... forest bathing was wonderful. I just typed 'forest breathing' instead... should have left it. It's the breath, always.
Yes, we had a good time. Occasionally I felt like T and I could descend into snippiness, but we rose above it.
We sat around the fire, we hiked some of the trails, we took our dogs to the fenced off leash area (which was quite a hike by itself!), we took a nap or two. All good. On one of the nights, the clouds had cleared out and we walked up to the big empty meadow to take in the stars. Oh, so fine to see them! Living in the city takes away so much starshine, and if you add the cloudy skies to it, well, we rarely get that amount of beautiful stargazing in one evening. It was Stellar! Lol!
It was good for us to get out of town for a few days. It was quiet and relaxing.
We've had a few flare ups in the week since, but overall... holding somewhat steady. T has another challenge coming up this weekend, though. I'm going down to California to visit my very ill best friend. She got tickets for us to see Dolly Parton at the Hollywood Bowl! I've had to remind T a couple of times lately that I am allowed to have friends and to visit/hang out with them.
Other than that, friends, it's been pretty much ok around here. What's happening in your world?
23 August 2016
The new arrangement
So, how’s the new arrangement going, you ask? Overall, pretty well. T is settling in at her new place, although she has loads of stuff here at my house. I don’t really care about that – at least not right now. Her condo has tons of storage (rare, I know!) so she will be finding spots for most things as we go along.
Most of the time, I think she likes being back in Vancouver. Her family are all there, and she is just minutes away from them all. Sometimes that’s a good thing and sometimes it’s an annoyance, but overall it’s good. They love having her back! Also, her new job is just minutes from her home and she loves that. She goes home for lunch and walks the dog, so that’s a very good thing.
Round here, things are beginning to settle down. We’ve had a very busy August, what with T moving and then a family wedding and all sorts of other busy-ness going on. I’m looking forward to things settling down and cooling down as we move closer to fall. I need to get into a new routine and get the feel of it. Right now I feel pulled in too many directions.
But, when I’m at home, alone, my contentment is up and my anxiety is down. You know, as long as I had plenty of reading material, I could easily be a hermit. I have very little need for socializing, and usually find myself to be the best company. I don’t mean that in a ‘I hate people’ kind of way, just that it is so restful and calm, so restorative and serene, when I am by myself.
One thing that has surprised me is that I really miss the little dog! T took the grouchiest of the cats and the dog with her to her new place. I wanted her to take another cat, but she can only have two pets. I don’t miss the cat much at all, but the dog… yes. I haven’t been without a dog for many years. It feels decidedly odd. Plus, last month when she was staying with her sister during the week, I was in the habit of taking him for a brisk 20 minute walk every morning, and a more leisurely one in the afternoons. It was good for both of us. Now, T has to take him out every time he needs to pee, but I don’t think she is walking him for exercise. Oh well. He is happier with her, no matter what. He misses being here, though! Of course, she brings him over whenever she comes, but it’s not the same for him. He has no dog door or his own backyard… I’ll have to think about getting a dog of my own, but I’m in no hurry just yet.
We’ve had conversations with friends about our living separately but still being together. Some people get it, others don’t. One of her friends is sure that this is just step one to a break up. Another friend is quite jealous of the arrangement, but her partner said ‘don’t even think about it!’ That made me laugh! It is a little out of the ordinary, but it works better for both of us right now.
So, really, there’s not a lot to report. Everything is settling down and we are looking to establish our new normal. How are things going in your world?
Most of the time, I think she likes being back in Vancouver. Her family are all there, and she is just minutes away from them all. Sometimes that’s a good thing and sometimes it’s an annoyance, but overall it’s good. They love having her back! Also, her new job is just minutes from her home and she loves that. She goes home for lunch and walks the dog, so that’s a very good thing.
Round here, things are beginning to settle down. We’ve had a very busy August, what with T moving and then a family wedding and all sorts of other busy-ness going on. I’m looking forward to things settling down and cooling down as we move closer to fall. I need to get into a new routine and get the feel of it. Right now I feel pulled in too many directions.
But, when I’m at home, alone, my contentment is up and my anxiety is down. You know, as long as I had plenty of reading material, I could easily be a hermit. I have very little need for socializing, and usually find myself to be the best company. I don’t mean that in a ‘I hate people’ kind of way, just that it is so restful and calm, so restorative and serene, when I am by myself.
One thing that has surprised me is that I really miss the little dog! T took the grouchiest of the cats and the dog with her to her new place. I wanted her to take another cat, but she can only have two pets. I don’t miss the cat much at all, but the dog… yes. I haven’t been without a dog for many years. It feels decidedly odd. Plus, last month when she was staying with her sister during the week, I was in the habit of taking him for a brisk 20 minute walk every morning, and a more leisurely one in the afternoons. It was good for both of us. Now, T has to take him out every time he needs to pee, but I don’t think she is walking him for exercise. Oh well. He is happier with her, no matter what. He misses being here, though! Of course, she brings him over whenever she comes, but it’s not the same for him. He has no dog door or his own backyard… I’ll have to think about getting a dog of my own, but I’m in no hurry just yet.
We’ve had conversations with friends about our living separately but still being together. Some people get it, others don’t. One of her friends is sure that this is just step one to a break up. Another friend is quite jealous of the arrangement, but her partner said ‘don’t even think about it!’ That made me laugh! It is a little out of the ordinary, but it works better for both of us right now.
So, really, there’s not a lot to report. Everything is settling down and we are looking to establish our new normal. How are things going in your world?
14 February 2016
Sunday morning musing
Good morning!
I dropped T off at the airport at 8:20 this morning. She is on her trip to Hawaii with her sister. They will be gone for a week. I really hope that she can spend the time resting and restoring her physical and mental self. She is tired. This will do her good.
So, that means that I have my house to myself for a week! Yay! Time for quiet and reflection, or projects that are on my list. My time is my own. I'm tempted to take the week off work but I'm saving my PTO for something else. Well, I might take one day off... plus, Monday is President's Day and I have that day off. So, yes, some quality time home alone.
Listen, you NorthEasters, NorthCentralers, GreatLakers, GreatPlainsers (you know who you are), Spring is coming. I know it may not seem like it right now, but it's on its way. I promise. We are being battered with rain but the bulb flowers are pushing through the soil and will be blooming any day now. So, hold on. Have hot chocolate. Or a hot toddy. Look out at the snow and plunging thermometer and say, 'Spring is coming.'
I'm off to go do something. Not sure what just yet. Might just walk around the house a bit and see what bubbles up to the top. Cheers!
I dropped T off at the airport at 8:20 this morning. She is on her trip to Hawaii with her sister. They will be gone for a week. I really hope that she can spend the time resting and restoring her physical and mental self. She is tired. This will do her good.
So, that means that I have my house to myself for a week! Yay! Time for quiet and reflection, or projects that are on my list. My time is my own. I'm tempted to take the week off work but I'm saving my PTO for something else. Well, I might take one day off... plus, Monday is President's Day and I have that day off. So, yes, some quality time home alone.
Listen, you NorthEasters, NorthCentralers, GreatLakers, GreatPlainsers (you know who you are), Spring is coming. I know it may not seem like it right now, but it's on its way. I promise. We are being battered with rain but the bulb flowers are pushing through the soil and will be blooming any day now. So, hold on. Have hot chocolate. Or a hot toddy. Look out at the snow and plunging thermometer and say, 'Spring is coming.'
I'm off to go do something. Not sure what just yet. Might just walk around the house a bit and see what bubbles up to the top. Cheers!
01 December 2011
Some good stuff
Here are some good things that have brightened my days lately.
1) The Kid is moving back to the Pacific Northwest! Yes, it's true! Finally! Zoe's man got a job at that big computer outfit near Seattle and they are headed this way. I am so effing happy about that. There are lots of details to work out, of course, but the thought of having her just three hours away is fantastic.
2) T got a job! A real 40 hour a week job! True, it's a 6 month temp but they told her at the interview that they want to make it permanent. Now we just have to set an intention that they find the funding and hire her permanently. And the best part? It's doing maintenance at the Zoo! She started this week and is already thrilled with it. I told her that if she gets on permanent she'll have to stay for 20 years so that she will have a retirement. She is so happy!
3) My two best friends are coming for a long weekend, starting tomorrow! Lisa had been planning on coming for months, she wanted to see my mum one last time but this was the soonest she could get away. Of course, it's too late for that but she is coming anyway to cheer me up and just hang out. Then, last week, she told T that she was planning a surprise and bringing my other bestie along for the weekend too! I'm not supposed to know but T told me because it's hard to hide details like getting out the air mattress and planning for more than one house guest. I'm sworn to secrecy and I will be the most surprised person ever when KA shows up! I'm just so happy to have friends who care so much about me.
I'm grateful. Very, very grateful. In the midst of my sorrow, here are reasons for gratitude. Thank you, Universe. I haven't felt happy for a long while, and here are three outstanding reasons.
xoxoxox
1) The Kid is moving back to the Pacific Northwest! Yes, it's true! Finally! Zoe's man got a job at that big computer outfit near Seattle and they are headed this way. I am so effing happy about that. There are lots of details to work out, of course, but the thought of having her just three hours away is fantastic.
2) T got a job! A real 40 hour a week job! True, it's a 6 month temp but they told her at the interview that they want to make it permanent. Now we just have to set an intention that they find the funding and hire her permanently. And the best part? It's doing maintenance at the Zoo! She started this week and is already thrilled with it. I told her that if she gets on permanent she'll have to stay for 20 years so that she will have a retirement. She is so happy!
3) My two best friends are coming for a long weekend, starting tomorrow! Lisa had been planning on coming for months, she wanted to see my mum one last time but this was the soonest she could get away. Of course, it's too late for that but she is coming anyway to cheer me up and just hang out. Then, last week, she told T that she was planning a surprise and bringing my other bestie along for the weekend too! I'm not supposed to know but T told me because it's hard to hide details like getting out the air mattress and planning for more than one house guest. I'm sworn to secrecy and I will be the most surprised person ever when KA shows up! I'm just so happy to have friends who care so much about me.
I'm grateful. Very, very grateful. In the midst of my sorrow, here are reasons for gratitude. Thank you, Universe. I haven't felt happy for a long while, and here are three outstanding reasons.
xoxoxox
08 February 2011
Question for you bloggers
Does your partner/girlfriend/wife/significant other read your blog? Does she (he) know about your blog? How do you handle that?
I have two blogs. This one, where Ibitch talk about my gf and our relationship, our crazy families, my doubts and occasional delights. The other blog is for my family and friends that I know in RL. It's less gay and more topical to Portland. Although, I have plenty of gay friends and readers on that blog as well. It's not a gay vs not gay thing, ok! It's really just a matter of spilling my guts to you all in a way that I can't to my family and friends. They would probably all hate me or hate my gf. Gah! Complicated!
So, how do other people handle that? Do you let your s.o. read your stuff and just shrug it off? Of course, many of you never have a cross word to say about your lovers, and how great for you, so it wouldn't matter if she read your blog. But, for those of you who are in a similar situation to mine, what do you do?
One funny thing is that I can hardly get T to read my family blog. So, really, I shouldn't be worried! Right?
Here's the link to my family blog. Feel free to read and comment or ignore. I don't know why I am stressing about this. Do I feel ... deceitful? Sneaky? Less than open? I guess I am. Does it matter? Am I overanalyzing? Probably. Sigh. Anyway...
www.pdxreport.blogspot.com
I have two blogs. This one, where I
So, how do other people handle that? Do you let your s.o. read your stuff and just shrug it off? Of course, many of you never have a cross word to say about your lovers, and how great for you, so it wouldn't matter if she read your blog. But, for those of you who are in a similar situation to mine, what do you do?
One funny thing is that I can hardly get T to read my family blog. So, really, I shouldn't be worried! Right?
Here's the link to my family blog. Feel free to read and comment or ignore. I don't know why I am stressing about this. Do I feel ... deceitful? Sneaky? Less than open? I guess I am. Does it matter? Am I overanalyzing? Probably. Sigh. Anyway...
www.pdxreport.blogspot.com
27 December 2010
Holiday giving
We survived the holiday. It was touch and go a few times, but we made it. The very best part? Walking dogs at the animal shelter at 6am on Christmas morning.
My girlfriend volunteers at the county animal shelter, walking and bathing dogs, and occasionally driving them to a new shelter or rescue outfit. Her regular walk day is Saturday, at 6am. It's the shift called potty walk for very good reason. So, with the holiday falling on a Saturday, we weren't sure how many people would show up. I offered to go with her and help out. It's overwhelming but the dogs are so damned grateful to get out of the kennel for a few minutes.
We took them little chunks of cheese and various dog treats. They were wonderful, adorable and heartbreaking. T knows that she can't bring anymore home, but she would love to. It's hard not to!
It was definitely the best part of the day.
My girlfriend volunteers at the county animal shelter, walking and bathing dogs, and occasionally driving them to a new shelter or rescue outfit. Her regular walk day is Saturday, at 6am. It's the shift called potty walk for very good reason. So, with the holiday falling on a Saturday, we weren't sure how many people would show up. I offered to go with her and help out. It's overwhelming but the dogs are so damned grateful to get out of the kennel for a few minutes.
We took them little chunks of cheese and various dog treats. They were wonderful, adorable and heartbreaking. T knows that she can't bring anymore home, but she would love to. It's hard not to!
It was definitely the best part of the day.
29 October 2010
Equal time
Lately I have been complaining about my girlfriend and her issues around jealousy. In the interest of fairness I have to say that I have my own issues that drive her crazy.
I’m really struggling.
The big one for me is communication. Specifically, I don’t call and let her know where I am and when I am coming home. I have been working on this one and doing better ~ until last night.
I taught my usual two classes and afterwards went to our other school to watch and participate in a test. A couple of my favorite teammates were testing for their next rank and I wanted to be there. I had told T that I would be doing this. Apparently, I also told her that I would call her on my way to the other school. I don’t remember saying that, but I could have. I also told her, and I do remember this, that I would stay for about an hour at the test.
Well, it didn’t work out that way. I stayed much longer. And, the bad thing is, I never called. I didn’t call on the way there; I didn’t call when I got there; I didn’t call to say I would be staying later.
It’s very inconsiderate behavior. I know that. It’s not intentional on my part. I just didn’t think about it. There are no clocks in the training hall during a test, so I didn’t have that visual reminder of time slipping away, but I should have realized how much later it was getting.
I’m not sure why this is such a struggle for me. I like think it’s a couple of things. One, I was not in a committed relationship for many years and I haven’t had to check in with anyone. And, two, I hate the feeling of being on a leash.
These explanations don’t really work all that well, though. For one thing, T and I have been together for nearly three years and you’d think I’d be somewhat used to it by now. And the leash thing? Yeah, she’s not saying don’t go, she’s just saying let me know. That’s not unreasonable.
So, I don’t know why this is such a huge stumbling block for me. It’s come up in our counseling sessions before and trust me, it will again… we have an appointment tonight so I’ll have to go over it all in detail. Now, there’s something to look forward to. I hope that we can talk about it and get it over with and get on with the rest of the weekend. One good thing about T is that she doesn’t hold onto that kind of negative feeling very long. Here’s hoping!
I’m really struggling.
The big one for me is communication. Specifically, I don’t call and let her know where I am and when I am coming home. I have been working on this one and doing better ~ until last night.
I taught my usual two classes and afterwards went to our other school to watch and participate in a test. A couple of my favorite teammates were testing for their next rank and I wanted to be there. I had told T that I would be doing this. Apparently, I also told her that I would call her on my way to the other school. I don’t remember saying that, but I could have. I also told her, and I do remember this, that I would stay for about an hour at the test.
Well, it didn’t work out that way. I stayed much longer. And, the bad thing is, I never called. I didn’t call on the way there; I didn’t call when I got there; I didn’t call to say I would be staying later.
It’s very inconsiderate behavior. I know that. It’s not intentional on my part. I just didn’t think about it. There are no clocks in the training hall during a test, so I didn’t have that visual reminder of time slipping away, but I should have realized how much later it was getting.
I’m not sure why this is such a struggle for me. I like think it’s a couple of things. One, I was not in a committed relationship for many years and I haven’t had to check in with anyone. And, two, I hate the feeling of being on a leash.
These explanations don’t really work all that well, though. For one thing, T and I have been together for nearly three years and you’d think I’d be somewhat used to it by now. And the leash thing? Yeah, she’s not saying don’t go, she’s just saying let me know. That’s not unreasonable.
So, I don’t know why this is such a huge stumbling block for me. It’s come up in our counseling sessions before and trust me, it will again… we have an appointment tonight so I’ll have to go over it all in detail. Now, there’s something to look forward to. I hope that we can talk about it and get it over with and get on with the rest of the weekend. One good thing about T is that she doesn’t hold onto that kind of negative feeling very long. Here’s hoping!
19 February 2010
Oh dear...
We were watching something on the news lately, something about archeology or anthropology, and my gf said, “Oh, he must be one of those nuts who think people came from monkeys.”
Where do I even start? Where do I go from there?
I’m starting to think that our differences could become insurmountable.
Where do I even start? Where do I go from there?
I’m starting to think that our differences could become insurmountable.
01 December 2009
Back but Not Ready
I took the week of Thanksgiving off work. It was the November birthday week in my family and what with birthdays and the holiday it just seemed like a good time to be at home. Now, however, I’m back at work and struggling to give a shit.
T’s birthday went pretty well. She got what she wanted most: undivided attention and time. We worked on the house some, hung out a bit, took the dogs for walks, had a couples massage, drank mimosas, soaked in the hot tub. All good stuff.
For her big 5-0 birthday I got her a few things. Some fairly ordinary, wifely type things (underwear, candles, sweats and long sleeve t-shirts). And two things that she wasn’t expecting and really liked. A dog training treat pouch for dog walks, with some treats, of course; and a New Orleans Saints hoodie.
During the week I hardly logged on to the computer. Didn’t check my facebook page, didn’t read my usual blogs, barely checked my email and then only on the crackberry. I pretty much went without the electronics for a week. It was fine. The earth did not stop spinning. Amazing! T, however, has developed an addiction for one of those idiotic facebook games: Farmville. She is harvesting her damned crops all the time. It has started to become a bit obsessive. She was on it last night at bedtime, calculating what she could plant based on when the harvest would be. Oh, whatever, it’s not like I care if she plays a game. But, she missed some of the Saints game last night so that she could run upstairs and harvest something.
Coming back to work after time off is hard. It’s been a slog lately and the break was very welcome. I did ok yesterday, Monday, but today I really don’t feel like being here. I’m restless, and alternating between bored and antsy. I’d like to get out of the office and walk home, but I need to be here and I don’t have the time for that long of a walk today. Instead, I’m looking out the window at the rare winter sunshine. People are calling and emailing with issues and problems and I just can’t find the energy or interest to care. That sounds bad, I know. I also know that it will pass, eventually.
T’s birthday went pretty well. She got what she wanted most: undivided attention and time. We worked on the house some, hung out a bit, took the dogs for walks, had a couples massage, drank mimosas, soaked in the hot tub. All good stuff.
For her big 5-0 birthday I got her a few things. Some fairly ordinary, wifely type things (underwear, candles, sweats and long sleeve t-shirts). And two things that she wasn’t expecting and really liked. A dog training treat pouch for dog walks, with some treats, of course; and a New Orleans Saints hoodie.
During the week I hardly logged on to the computer. Didn’t check my facebook page, didn’t read my usual blogs, barely checked my email and then only on the crackberry. I pretty much went without the electronics for a week. It was fine. The earth did not stop spinning. Amazing! T, however, has developed an addiction for one of those idiotic facebook games: Farmville. She is harvesting her damned crops all the time. It has started to become a bit obsessive. She was on it last night at bedtime, calculating what she could plant based on when the harvest would be. Oh, whatever, it’s not like I care if she plays a game. But, she missed some of the Saints game last night so that she could run upstairs and harvest something.
Coming back to work after time off is hard. It’s been a slog lately and the break was very welcome. I did ok yesterday, Monday, but today I really don’t feel like being here. I’m restless, and alternating between bored and antsy. I’d like to get out of the office and walk home, but I need to be here and I don’t have the time for that long of a walk today. Instead, I’m looking out the window at the rare winter sunshine. People are calling and emailing with issues and problems and I just can’t find the energy or interest to care. That sounds bad, I know. I also know that it will pass, eventually.
13 November 2009
Suggestions?
My gf has a birthday coming up this month. Not just any birthday, either, it's the big 5-0!
Several months ago she had thought that it would be pretty great to go to Hawai'i for her birthday. Well, hell yes, it would be! And, it would have the added bonus of getting us out of town during the Thanksgiving holiday. No worries about hosting the dinner or whose house to go to, just us on a white sand beach. Well, she decided that she didn't want to do that after all.
I suggested just a weekend at the beach or the mountains or the Columbia Gorge. Stay at a nice hotel or B&B and just chill for a weekend. She thought about that for a few days and decided that no, she didn't want to do that either.
Well, how about just a night downtown in a fancy hotel and dinner somewhere swanky? No, she actually doesn't want to go anywhere. She doesn't want to leave the pets, especially the kittens (but wait, I said, we went to the beach a month or so ago and they were fine!). Nope. Doesn't want to go.
OK. I can accept that. We'll stay home. But, she doesn't want a party either. Now, I had a big party for my 50th in the spring. And had a smashingly good time. But, she is not as social as I am and the idea doesn't appeal at all. What about just a few close friends? No. Well, can we go out to dinner with our close friends? No. But maybe we can meet up with them after dinner. Finally! Finally getting some answers here!
So, it looks like we'll have dinner out and then maybe, just maybe, meet some friends and go to a club. Maybe some dancing, maybe some pool. She is being fairly difficult over this one!
I have a few ideas for gifts but haven't come up with anything that feels just right. That's where you all come in! I'm open to suggestions. So far I have purchased a New Orleans Saints hoodie, and a gift coupon for a massage. I'm going to pick up some shirts at Old Navy. I'm also getting her a planer ~ a woodworking tool ~ which I know she wants.
What to get the butch who has most everything she desires? Anyone have any brilliant ideas?
12 October 2009
Doctor Visit
I am fortunate enough to have an employer that allows me to have my partner covered on my health insurance. There. That’s a positive start!
So, T had an appointment on Friday to see the family practice doctor. She mainly went in because she has chronic back pain and it has been bothering her lately. But, while I was making the appointment for her they suggested an annual exam and yes, it had been awhile, so we threw that fun time in too.
Now, before I ramble on about the appointment, I have to say that the night before we got into a huge argument. I left in a stony silence in the morning. About a half hour before the appointment I called her at home to ask where I should meet her. I generally go with her to her appointments because she is a big baby when it comes to anything medical, and really, it’s better to have your advocate at your side asking the questions anyway. So, we tersely decided to meet in the lobby.
I got there ahead of her and we rode up to the 9th floor, again in silence. Checked in at the desk and prepared for the customary long wait. They actually called her back one minute ahead of schedule.
We both went in the exam room. Sometimes the provider is disconcerted by that, other times not. So, they went over the history and physical, wrote down all of the notes, etc. We had a little fun with the questions about safe sex… gotta get a laugh when you can in those situations.
So, I had asked T beforehand if I could look while she got the Pap smear. Cuz, you know, I’ve seen the outside as thoroughly as possible, I was curious about what the inside of her pussy looked like. Who wouldn’t be?! She rolled her eyes and said ok. Might have called me a perv, but whatever.
So, the doctor gets out the speculum and I step behind her to take a peek. She used an average sized speculum which was too big for T. She was clearly in pain. I had to give up my vantage point to go hold her hand. The doc switched to a smaller speculum and tried again. I popped back around to get my once in a lifetime view.
I just barely got a glimpse when the doctor pulled out the speculum, jumped up, and said, “I’ll be right back. There is an unusual lesion there and I want to ask one of my colleagues about it.” She pretty much bolted out of there.
OK, I don’t know about you but when the doctor is scared, the patient is scared. We were left in the exam room staring at each other thinking all the worst possible diagnoses. Lesion? Unusual?
After a couple of minutes the doctor came back in and (somewhat feebly) reassured us that it was probably fine but that she would put in an order for T to be seen in the ObGyn clinic. But first, she wanted us to go downstairs for an ultrasound.
We go for the ultrasound, and since that’s part of my department, we get in right away. We have about 15 sonographers in the department and all but two are women. Naturally we got the one dude who was on duty that week. He’s cool though, and about as low testosterone and nonthreatening as a hetero guy can be. So, he’s scanning her lower abdomen and not getting a very good view. He tells her he is going to have to do the transvaginal view as well. That probe is a lot smaller than a dildo, thank god! She’s already traumatized.
He found a vascular polyp that originates in her uterus and grew down and out of her cervix. The pictures are pretty weird looking. When he turned on the Doppler, we could see that there is a lot of blood flow to the damned thing. There was actually one view where it looked like it had a face. Creepy!
One of my radiologists told me not to worry, that it will not be a big ordeal to get it removed. Still, it was a nerve wracking couple of hours, let me tell you. She has a follow up appointment on Thursday with the gynecologist.
As I walked her to the car in the parking garage, I said, “You’re going all out to make sure I’m not mad at you anymore.” She said, “Did it work?”
So, T had an appointment on Friday to see the family practice doctor. She mainly went in because she has chronic back pain and it has been bothering her lately. But, while I was making the appointment for her they suggested an annual exam and yes, it had been awhile, so we threw that fun time in too.
Now, before I ramble on about the appointment, I have to say that the night before we got into a huge argument. I left in a stony silence in the morning. About a half hour before the appointment I called her at home to ask where I should meet her. I generally go with her to her appointments because she is a big baby when it comes to anything medical, and really, it’s better to have your advocate at your side asking the questions anyway. So, we tersely decided to meet in the lobby.
I got there ahead of her and we rode up to the 9th floor, again in silence. Checked in at the desk and prepared for the customary long wait. They actually called her back one minute ahead of schedule.
We both went in the exam room. Sometimes the provider is disconcerted by that, other times not. So, they went over the history and physical, wrote down all of the notes, etc. We had a little fun with the questions about safe sex… gotta get a laugh when you can in those situations.
So, I had asked T beforehand if I could look while she got the Pap smear. Cuz, you know, I’ve seen the outside as thoroughly as possible, I was curious about what the inside of her pussy looked like. Who wouldn’t be?! She rolled her eyes and said ok. Might have called me a perv, but whatever.
So, the doctor gets out the speculum and I step behind her to take a peek. She used an average sized speculum which was too big for T. She was clearly in pain. I had to give up my vantage point to go hold her hand. The doc switched to a smaller speculum and tried again. I popped back around to get my once in a lifetime view.
I just barely got a glimpse when the doctor pulled out the speculum, jumped up, and said, “I’ll be right back. There is an unusual lesion there and I want to ask one of my colleagues about it.” She pretty much bolted out of there.
OK, I don’t know about you but when the doctor is scared, the patient is scared. We were left in the exam room staring at each other thinking all the worst possible diagnoses. Lesion? Unusual?
After a couple of minutes the doctor came back in and (somewhat feebly) reassured us that it was probably fine but that she would put in an order for T to be seen in the ObGyn clinic. But first, she wanted us to go downstairs for an ultrasound.
We go for the ultrasound, and since that’s part of my department, we get in right away. We have about 15 sonographers in the department and all but two are women. Naturally we got the one dude who was on duty that week. He’s cool though, and about as low testosterone and nonthreatening as a hetero guy can be. So, he’s scanning her lower abdomen and not getting a very good view. He tells her he is going to have to do the transvaginal view as well. That probe is a lot smaller than a dildo, thank god! She’s already traumatized.
He found a vascular polyp that originates in her uterus and grew down and out of her cervix. The pictures are pretty weird looking. When he turned on the Doppler, we could see that there is a lot of blood flow to the damned thing. There was actually one view where it looked like it had a face. Creepy!
One of my radiologists told me not to worry, that it will not be a big ordeal to get it removed. Still, it was a nerve wracking couple of hours, let me tell you. She has a follow up appointment on Thursday with the gynecologist.
As I walked her to the car in the parking garage, I said, “You’re going all out to make sure I’m not mad at you anymore.” She said, “Did it work?”
05 October 2009
Friday afternoon
My phone buzzed while I was in the exam room.
T: What are you doing?
Me: I can’t talk right now, I’m having my boobs squeezed.
T: WHAT?!?!?!
Me: A mammogram, duh!
T: What? You’re having a mammogram? Why didn’t you tell me this morning?
Me: They had a cancellation so I just walked over… but, let me call you back. Really.
What can I say, it gave me a little pleasure to tease her like that. And, when you can get pleasure out of a mammogram, I say go for it!
T: What are you doing?
Me: I can’t talk right now, I’m having my boobs squeezed.
T: WHAT?!?!?!
Me: A mammogram, duh!
T: What? You’re having a mammogram? Why didn’t you tell me this morning?
Me: They had a cancellation so I just walked over… but, let me call you back. Really.
What can I say, it gave me a little pleasure to tease her like that. And, when you can get pleasure out of a mammogram, I say go for it!
12 June 2009
Pride
Gay Pride is this weekend in Portland. Yay! Well, it's already begun but the big stuff is this weekend.
I was looking for various gay-themed paraphernalia at the store yesterday ~ decided that I didn't have enough rainbows in my wardrobe. My best finds were in the cheap jewelry aisle and girls accessories. Rainbows and unicorns aplenty! Of course, Tess isn't going to wear anything like that. I did find an awesome t-shirt for her in the men's clothing section. It's an Oregon State University t-shirt that loudly proclaims, "BEAVER PRIDE". That will be perfect for the Dyke March!
Happy Pride, everyone! Go get your gay on!
I was looking for various gay-themed paraphernalia at the store yesterday ~ decided that I didn't have enough rainbows in my wardrobe. My best finds were in the cheap jewelry aisle and girls accessories. Rainbows and unicorns aplenty! Of course, Tess isn't going to wear anything like that. I did find an awesome t-shirt for her in the men's clothing section. It's an Oregon State University t-shirt that loudly proclaims, "BEAVER PRIDE". That will be perfect for the Dyke March!
Happy Pride, everyone! Go get your gay on!
27 March 2009
Vanity and Age
When T and I first hooked up I wasn’t coloring my hair. I got tired of the grow-out phases, and mostly, I just didn’t care. Plus, I thought my hair looked good white/gray/brown. But, shortly after we started dating I went back to coloring my hair. And here’s why: I didn’t want to look that much older than she. We are the same age – although I was born in the spring and she was born in the fall, but in the same year. And, we both look pretty damn good for 49, I think. But, I didn’t want to look like some old gal going with a youngster. A cougar. A sugar mama. So, I started coloring my hair.
Now, however, my birthday is coming up. It’s a milepost year; a threshold. And I don’t feel like coloring my hair anymore. It’s very pretty. It’s longish, shoulder length, a warm caramel brown. It’s a pleasure to brush it. It’s long enough to pull back into a ponytail when I work out. But, I’m tired of it. I’m planning on cutting it fairly short and letting it grow out to its natural color. Ok, so people may look at us and think, “Wow, what’s that hottie doing with the old bag?” But, I don’t care. We’ll see how long that lasts. Because, after all, it’s just hair and mine grows out so fast that it can be completely different in six months.
Now, however, my birthday is coming up. It’s a milepost year; a threshold. And I don’t feel like coloring my hair anymore. It’s very pretty. It’s longish, shoulder length, a warm caramel brown. It’s a pleasure to brush it. It’s long enough to pull back into a ponytail when I work out. But, I’m tired of it. I’m planning on cutting it fairly short and letting it grow out to its natural color. Ok, so people may look at us and think, “Wow, what’s that hottie doing with the old bag?” But, I don’t care. We’ll see how long that lasts. Because, after all, it’s just hair and mine grows out so fast that it can be completely different in six months.
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