Bus-bians

I rode the bus in to work late this morning.  I will spare you the scenes of domestic drama that necessitated the lateness; suffice it to say: the teenager.  At any rate, it meant that I was riding with a completely different set of passengers.

A pair of young lesbians got on and quickly surveyed the seating choices.  There were no spots with two seats together.   As they came to the back of the bus, one sat down in an aisle-side seat and, rather than sit across the aisle from her girlfriend, the other one stood right next to the first.  It looked very chivalrous, as if she were protecting her gf from a potential random encounter.  It might have been just that she liked leaning in and getting a little extra closeness before they had to start their day.  At any rate, it was pretty sweet and it made me smile.

Of no importance whatsoever

I don't care which way the toilet paper goes on the holder: over or under, doesn't matter to me.  What bugs me is when the last square or two of tp doesn't come off the cardboard tube neatly.  Now, that is irritating.

0prah and Gay1e

Ok, I’ll admit it, sometimes I like to watch 0prah when I get home from work.  Not all the time, but she often has interesting guests and she’s just so… out there.  I’d watch Ellen if I could (gotta support the team), but she is on too early. 

This week, 0prah devoted a couple of shows to the camping trip that she and Gay1e took to Yosemite.  As they were heading into the pop-up trailer at bed time, Gay1e said something like: this will add to those lesbian rumors! We got a chuckle out of that.

I’m of two minds on the whole 0prah and Gay1e thing.  Here’s what I think:

1) They are gay and 0prah is building up to the big reveal at the end of this, her final season.  She has been having a lot of openly gay people on the show talking about coming out.  She could be preparing, laying the ground work, getting her audience ready.  But she could also be building compassion for others, participating in her own way in the ‘It Gets Better’ movement.  I mean, 0prah has been an advocate for the gays for a long time.  But, why?  Because she is a good and accepting person or because she is gay but can’t risk her reputation?  Could go either way, right?

2) They are not gay.  They are best friends who have lived together, traveled together, had all kinds of adventures together but, because they are single, middle-aged women, well, they must be gay.  This attitude is prevalent and it makes me mad.  Why can’t two women just be friends?  Why can’t two middle-aged, single, lifelong pals be just that… friends through thick and thin, but not lovers.  My best friend of over 35 years is straight.  We have lived together, traveled together, had all kinds of adventures together but never been lovers.  How can this be?

I used to try to explain to people, when they assumed that Lisa and I were girlfriends, that no, we were just friends.  They would say, “Oh no, I didn’t think that!” while their faces said, ‘why is she hiding it?  It’s obvious that she’s gay’.  Well, yes, I am gay, but my best friend is not.  Too bad for her, but that’s how it goes.  Even my own grandmother assumed that Lisa was my girlfriend, which was sweet in an accepting kind of way, but incorrect. 

So, two women who choose each other’s company over that of a man’s are suspect.  How dare we not need them!  The patriarchy is threatened by all of this woman power stuff.  How tedious, how tired, how last century is all that?  Didn’t we already fight that battle?  Yes, we did, and we still are fighting it, and we have never won and it’s not over. 

What am I trying to say here?  Well, first of all, I’m saying that I don’t care if 0prah and Gay1e are gay.  I hope for their sakes that they are and that they can come out but that’s just my pro-gay bias.  Mostly, I am trying to say that old patterns of thought need to change and people need to quit judging by whatever archaic standards they were taught in the previous millennium.  It’s time to stop with the attitude folks!  I’m not going to go into my feminist diatribe ~ but believe me, I could!  I am just fed up with this old, useless crap.  Women can be friends with each other and it has absolutely nothing to do with men.  Don’t get your feelings hurt fellows, it’s just not about you all the time.

Blog Blast for Peace

Dona Nobis Pacem

From my family to yours...

Helen meets Mr Darcy

Our friend Chris rode her new bike over last weekend to watch a football game with us.  Look how pretty Mr Darcy is!  He and Helen look very well together!  That's Helen on the right, with the basket.

They both have the green/brown color scheme, and they are almost exactly the same color!

We like our bikes!

Equal time

Lately I have been complaining about my girlfriend and her issues around jealousy. In the interest of fairness I have to say that I have my own issues that drive her crazy.

I’m really struggling.

The big one for me is communication. Specifically, I don’t call and let her know where I am and when I am coming home. I have been working on this one and doing better ~ until last night.

I taught my usual two classes and afterwards went to our other school to watch and participate in a test. A couple of my favorite teammates were testing for their next rank and I wanted to be there. I had told T that I would be doing this. Apparently, I also told her that I would call her on my way to the other school. I don’t remember saying that, but I could have. I also told her, and I do remember this, that I would stay for about an hour at the test.

Well, it didn’t work out that way. I stayed much longer. And, the bad thing is, I never called. I didn’t call on the way there; I didn’t call when I got there; I didn’t call to say I would be staying later.

It’s very inconsiderate behavior. I know that. It’s not intentional on my part. I just didn’t think about it. There are no clocks in the training hall during a test, so I didn’t have that visual reminder of time slipping away, but I should have realized how much later it was getting.

I’m not sure why this is such a struggle for me. I like think it’s a couple of things. One, I was not in a committed relationship for many years and I haven’t had to check in with anyone. And, two, I hate the feeling of being on a leash.

These explanations don’t really work all that well, though. For one thing, T and I have been together for nearly three years and you’d think I’d be somewhat used to it by now. And the leash thing? Yeah, she’s not saying don’t go, she’s just saying let me know. That’s not unreasonable.

So, I don’t know why this is such a huge stumbling block for me. It’s come up in our counseling sessions before and trust me, it will again… we have an appointment tonight so I’ll have to go over it all in detail. Now, there’s something to look forward to. I hope that we can talk about it and get it over with and get on with the rest of the weekend. One good thing about T is that she doesn’t hold onto that kind of negative feeling very long. Here’s hoping!

What a weekend

Some weekends make one glad to go back to work. This past weekend was one of those.

The worst part:
On Monday, T's youngest niece died. No, not the one that lives with us. This little girl was only 7 years old and her entire life was a tragedy. She was profoundly autistic, and had both a seizure disorder and a bleeding disorder among her various medical issues. She has been wearing a helmet for the past year or so to protect her head during the seizures. Horrible story short: subdural hematoma that couldn't be fixed. Poor, poor little thing. The funeral was Saturday.

The rest of it:
The niece that lives with us was away for the weekend ~ a volleyball tournament that her cousin was competing in on the other side of the state. So, we decide that Friday would be date night. Got some takeout, rented some lesbo flicks and went home to canoodle. T decided to watch a tv program that she likes first and I said, sure, I'll check my email while you are doing that. She is reading over my shoulder and demands to know what one particular friend of mine was emailing me about. I reminded her that we had invited this couple over for dinner and we are trying to pick a date. She became irrationally jealous and demanded to see the email. I refused. I've been hooked up with crazy before and nobody runs my life but me. No, you may not read my email. Either you love me, trust me and want to be with me or you don't. It's actually pretty simple.

Eventually the shouting died down. The evening was ruined.

Salvaged:
T's best friend came over to watch football with us on Sunday morning. That was pleasant. The Seahawks scraped a win over Chicago, the Saints won but we didn't get to see that game.

Monday:
Happy to have a job that pays the bills, and somewhere to go 5 days a week.





I need to get my life back.

I don't get it

I just don't understand why the gender of the person I sleep with is of any interest to anyone. Why does it matter? Seriously, who the hell cares? We are good people, charitable and kind, pay our taxes, don't cause trouble, pick up after our dogs, contribute to our communities... what difference can it possibly make to anyone if we are both women?

Where is eb?

eb? are you still around? how come your blog won't render in any of my browsers???

hope everything is ok...

Google Ads

Why does Google ads keep asking me if I am "Still a Girl Hunter"? Damn it, I'm in a committed relationship!