Solace

The solace of nature and especially the solace of trees, is a well described feeling. One of the few Christian bible verses that I know resonates for me because of that feeling. "I will lift mine eyes unto the hills whence cometh my help."

We lift our eyes to the hills, if they are within view; to the trees, if we have any, or to the sky, if we can see it. We lift our gaze above our surroundings, above that which troubles us. 

I found myself outside last night. It was cool and damp with a light misty rain falling. It was the golden hour, that time when the sun, an hour or so before sunset, gleams, slanting across the city, under the cloud cover. Last night, the very air was golden, the trees glowing. 

I don't understand the how and why of acts of terror. I truly believe that most people's wish is to live in peace, free to pursue their dreams. I can’t understand how blowing up innocent people furthers anyone’s aims. 

And, you know what?  I don’t want to understand that.  I don’t want that knowledge in my head.  I’m ok with remaining ignorant of the why and the how of acts of terror.  Some things are better not known.

I do know this.  When we are shocked or stunned or grieving for any reason, spending some time outside, breathing deeply of the evening air, meditating, watching the wind move the leaves of a beautiful tree, we begin to heal.

I'm Back!

Dear Friends,

It’s been a while, I know.  A matter of months, right?  Well, I’m back.  Mostly. 

I took the time away from reportage to challenge myself to a math course at Portland State University.  I’ve learned some important things!  Like, the slope-intercept formula… good fun, that one!  I can graph a line like a mad woman now.  But, more importantly, I’ve learned this: Math makes me grouchy.

Not disgruntled, not out of sorts, not even really grouchy… I should probably say that Math Pisses Me Off.  Oh, it’s not Math’s fault; it’s not really a fault thing at all.  I should be, and am, irritated with myself for forgetting all of this hard-earned knowledge in the first place.  But, apparently I needed to subject myself to the torture of an 8am, twice a week class with loads of homework (thankfully we’re on the quarter system and not semesters) to really grasp the fact that my aspirations do not lie down the academic path I had envisioned.

All of that being said, I could not spare a single moment to keep you all updated on this hare-brained scheme.  Besides the lack of blogging, I haven’t read a book for pleasure in all this time!  I’m catching up, though.  I’ve read two since the final exam.  Enjoyed the hell out of them, too!*  But, now that I have come to my senses and put aside the notion that I was pursuing, I should be able to get back on the blogging horse and ride, baby, ride!

I would also like to say thank you to those of you who have emailed or messaged me to say, What’s up?  I appreciate that so much!  I’m still around, even though I haven’t even had the time to read your blogs much…  I have some catching up to do.

I also have to do some reevaluating of my plans.  I still want to build my lovely mechanical contraptions but I’ll just have to go about it in a different way. 

There may also be more courses at the University.  I might need to take a nice Literature class to get the bad mathematical taste out of my mouth.  I need to remind myself that I am good at something, dammit!  I was an Honor student, for crying out loud!

I’m not sure what I am doing next, but I’ll keep you posted.

Cheers!

*Monkey Mind, A memoir of anxiety. By Daniel Smith

and,

Mr Penumbra’s 24 Hour Bookstore, by Robin Sloan

Enjoyed them both!