It’s about the bed but related to sleeping, not, you know,
recreational activity, ahem, as it were…
My partner and I both want the same side of the bed. If you are in it, it’s the right hand side. We both have our reasons and we both think
that our reasons outweigh her reasons.
So far I am winning.
When T first moved in I let her have the right side. She wanted it and I was in a tolerant
mood. Soon after, however, I said that I
needed to switch sides with her. I said
that the other side was too claustrophobia-inducing for me. It’s the side next to the wall; the bed is a
couple feet away from the wall, but still.
I have a deeply ingrained need to be able to bolt. Domestic violence scars will do that to a
person. I get a little panicky when I
feel trapped.
Her reasons are less potent – to me, at least. She has always slept on that side; her
shoulder hurts if she lies on the other side; she is not as comfortable or as
able to ‘get busy’ on that side; and her latest, she can’t sleep through the
night when she is on the other side of the bed.
In response to her latest I said that she would just have to
get used to not sleeping through the night.
I mean, that’s part of aging, right?!
In middle age our sleep patterns change.
She can’t sleep through the night because she is a menopausal,
middle-aged woman! Not my fault!
We were at a stalemate for a while, she refusing to budge
and me being bitter and resentful. Then,
she adopted the scared little dog. HA!
Tanner has special needs.
One of his needs is that he needs to sleep somewhere that he feels
secure. T built him a special bed and
put it on the right side our bed. That
just didn’t work. He didn’t feel secure,
it’s right by the door and there is too much coming and going. He would run to the far side of the bed and
hide but then when I would walk over there to get in bed, he would bark and
growl at me and generally freak out.
So, I told her that for the dog’s peace of mind we would
have to switch sides. She agreed;
reluctantly, grudgingly and gracelessly, but she agreed. She moved to the wall side of the bed.
Now that Tanner has relaxed somewhat she wants to switch
back to the other side. I am holding
firm on my refusal to move. She then
asked if we could rearrange the furniture so that the left side of the bed was
near the door and the right side would be next to the closet. It’s not an ideal arrangement by any stretch,
and I’m not even sure that it would work.
The door would open right onto the bed that way. Plus, another of my quirks is that I feel
much healthier when my bed is facing south.
It took me many years to figure this out, but it makes a big difference for
me, especially in this cloudy climate. I
feel a little too idiosyncratic with this additional requirement, but I’m just
being me.
So far, I’m still on the right side. Thanks, Tanner. Good boy!
