05 November 2010

0prah and Gay1e

Ok, I’ll admit it, sometimes I like to watch 0prah when I get home from work.  Not all the time, but she often has interesting guests and she’s just so… out there.  I’d watch Ellen if I could (gotta support the team), but she is on too early. 

This week, 0prah devoted a couple of shows to the camping trip that she and Gay1e took to Yosemite.  As they were heading into the pop-up trailer at bed time, Gay1e said something like: this will add to those lesbian rumors! We got a chuckle out of that.

I’m of two minds on the whole 0prah and Gay1e thing.  Here’s what I think:

1) They are gay and 0prah is building up to the big reveal at the end of this, her final season.  She has been having a lot of openly gay people on the show talking about coming out.  She could be preparing, laying the ground work, getting her audience ready.  But she could also be building compassion for others, participating in her own way in the ‘It Gets Better’ movement.  I mean, 0prah has been an advocate for the gays for a long time.  But, why?  Because she is a good and accepting person or because she is gay but can’t risk her reputation?  Could go either way, right?

2) They are not gay.  They are best friends who have lived together, traveled together, had all kinds of adventures together but, because they are single, middle-aged women, well, they must be gay.  This attitude is prevalent and it makes me mad.  Why can’t two women just be friends?  Why can’t two middle-aged, single, lifelong pals be just that… friends through thick and thin, but not lovers.  My best friend of over 35 years is straight.  We have lived together, traveled together, had all kinds of adventures together but never been lovers.  How can this be?

I used to try to explain to people, when they assumed that Lisa and I were girlfriends, that no, we were just friends.  They would say, “Oh no, I didn’t think that!” while their faces said, ‘why is she hiding it?  It’s obvious that she’s gay’.  Well, yes, I am gay, but my best friend is not.  Too bad for her, but that’s how it goes.  Even my own grandmother assumed that Lisa was my girlfriend, which was sweet in an accepting kind of way, but incorrect. 

So, two women who choose each other’s company over that of a man’s are suspect.  How dare we not need them!  The patriarchy is threatened by all of this woman power stuff.  How tedious, how tired, how last century is all that?  Didn’t we already fight that battle?  Yes, we did, and we still are fighting it, and we have never won and it’s not over. 

What am I trying to say here?  Well, first of all, I’m saying that I don’t care if 0prah and Gay1e are gay.  I hope for their sakes that they are and that they can come out but that’s just my pro-gay bias.  Mostly, I am trying to say that old patterns of thought need to change and people need to quit judging by whatever archaic standards they were taught in the previous millennium.  It’s time to stop with the attitude folks!  I’m not going to go into my feminist diatribe ~ but believe me, I could!  I am just fed up with this old, useless crap.  Women can be friends with each other and it has absolutely nothing to do with men.  Don’t get your feelings hurt fellows, it’s just not about you all the time.


thEbalzie said...

This is a really good post about women and friendship:

Of course, you know, if O is a lez it will be because she was sexually abused by men.

Becauze, zer are no lezbeunz, zer are juz wimmenz who have not had zee right peniz.

Anonymous said...

If she says she isn't gay then I'm fine with accepting that and won't assume anything else unless she says otherwise. I love their friendship - it's so beautiful.

8thdayplanner said...

I have been great friends with gay and straight women, even occassionally shared a bed, but never crossed the line to lovers. I don't know why this is such a hard concept for people. But, to me, it still comes down to the question of why people even care.

liz said...

I think if Oprah were gay she'd have come out already. She's got more money than God, so it's not like she has to worry about advertisers pulling their money, etc. And she's been so honest about other aspects of her life, I think she'd be fine with coming out.

I think they're just two close friends.

the only daughter said...

I think they are two close friends.

I also think they are gay, just not necessarily lovers--if they were lovers, the cat'd be out of the bag long before now. ;-)

LeLo said...

Hee hee. I love this post. I watched it too.

KMae said...

It know lesbians who know them & say they are gay. BUT I was a Flight Attendant 42 yrs & sat next to Gail from lax-ewr for 5 1/2 hrs & never once got a gay vibe from her. She was VERY nice, smart, business savy, & I thought she was beautiful & exciting! The last 30 minutes I showed her pics of my lover of 29yrs (who is black & beautiful) & I. She was very at ease talking to me about 'us' & never once batted an eye over it. We never once spoke of Oprah, altho' I was reading an O as she was working on a project russeling a gillion papers wearing reading glasses. She REALLY likes Corey Booker, the mayor of Ewr, whereas I DO NOT. I did not argue politics with her, but thought he would make a 'fine beard" for her to myself. It would be great if Gail & O turned out to be lesbians, but I am in agreement that they would be out by now if that were true. I don't think they are gay, but they definately love each other.