07 August 2014


I’m in a funk.


And, being in a funk and knowing that I have little reason to be in a funk, sends me even deeper into the funk.  It’s the funk spiral.

I’ve tried to puzzle out what is triggering the funk, but I’m not having much success.

We are having good weather, so that’s not the cause.  Well, it’s been too hot for my preference but we’re talking somewhere in the 90’s, not the 100’s.  And, really, yesterday and today were as close to perfect as it gets.  Cool mornings, sun burning off the clouds by mid-day, and a high of about 80° F.  What’s not to like about that?!?

My partner is not more or less aggravating than usual.  We are just rolling along on our bumpy road as we have been.  Her family is even a fraction less irritating.

My family is much the same.  My brother, sister in law and their kids visited and that was great.  My crazy brother and my dad are the same as ever.

My work is drudgery, but it has been for some time.  It should be getting better, but it hasn’t yet.  I’m still setting my sights on retiring early, but I am getting cold feet about income.  Still, my tentative plan is to work full time for the rest of this calendar year and then part time for another year, and then retire.  But, nothing is set in stone.

My chatty coworker, the one who sits behind me, is annoying as hell, but I can tune her out pretty well.

I’ve been riding my bike, which usually leads to better mental health, but hasn’t of late.  I’m out of shape, once again, which makes it considerably more of an effort, but it’s still pleasant.

So, something is bugging me and I can’t figure out what.  It’s all probably to do with missing my mother, but that hasn’t changed either.  I’m restless, bored, anxious, cranky – yes, a joy to be around.  Something needs to change, but I don’t know what.

Sorry for the ramble about nothing…


8thday said...

I have been experiencing an unidentified background sadness for a while now. And like all unexplained emotions, I find it best to just sit with them until they pass or teach me what I need to do.

While I wait I am taking my daughters away for a girl's weekend in Montreal. Maybe you need a good shot of Zoe?

I will be in touch when I get back. We can chat. Until then I am sending warm and fuzzy hugs. Lots and lots of them my friend.

the only daughter said...

Bummer that you are bummed with no tangible cause. I can relate.

I wish I could wave a wand, twitch a nose, wish upon a star to have it all go away, kindly.

But I can't. So, I will join 8 in the warm and fuzzy hugs. And trust that the positive energy swirling all around provides UPs.

8thday said...

And then I just read this from StoryPeople:

"She held her grief behind her eyes like an ocean & when she leaned forward into the day it spilled onto the floor & she wiped at it quickly with her foot & pretended no one had seen."

Maybe you have been pretending for too long.