Hello!
It's November and you know what that means - National Novel Writing Month!
I surprised myself by finishing early this year. Over 50k words written by 21 November. It's definitely my fastest finish yet. This year I wrote a story that takes place after the floods created by climate change. It is set in the region where I live, which will all be underwater in 100 years. The Willamette Valley will be the Willamette Sea, that sort of thing. There are a lot of 'flood maps' available on line if you are interested in looking things up.
Meanwhile, back on land, we are getting closer to winter and it is getting quite chilly around here. There is a threat of snow in the forecast but it's unlikely to materialize. A snowy Turkey Day will have Portlanders in a panic! Good for our mountains, though. We need the moisture, in any form.
Holiday Plans: As I have done for the previous several years, I will be making a small dinner for my dad and my brother on Thursday. I think they enjoy it, I hope so. Then, I will be taking a short trip North to have a second (and probably more festive) Thanksgiving with my daughter and her husband on the weekend. I'll be counting my blessings on both occasions.
I went out with T this last weekend for dinner and a dance. Her birthday coincided with a lesbian dance that's held once or twice a month. She's actively looking for a new girlfriend. She hasn't had any luck with the long distance option, so she's looking locally. She didn't get any phone numbers this time, but I hope she finds someone nice.
Did I already tell you about this? A friend of mine from high school (!) has moved to Portland and he is an enthusiastic appreciator of live music. I have gone out with him several times to hear a variety of music. So far, the clear winners are a blue grass band and a Monday night jazz jam session. There is no way I would be doing this if I were still working - most of these shindigs don't get started until 8 or 9 pm. I'm not a night owl by any stretch, but I do force myself to go occasionally. I think Ken goes out several times a week but I can only manage it once every couple of weeks. Still, it's been fun. He's an interesting guy and makes friends easily so he's often got an entourage with him.
Do you remember that I made a braided denim rug last winter? It turned out great, by the way, and Pierre has not been too bad with the claw sharpening. My neighbor loved it so much that I told her I would make her one this winter. She's been collecting jeans all summer and now my living room looks like a denim factory. I've got the jeans all sorted by color (shades of blue) and the new rug is coming along. I'm making it slightly larger than the one I made myself. I have discovered that I like having a project to work on while I'm watching reruns of the baking show. Lol. (I watch other stuff too, but that is like my background music.)
Well, I'd better get out there and rake again. The deciduous trees are almost done dropping their leaves. My shoulder is feeling it!
25 November 2019
11 July 2019
Back and Resting
I know, it should be 'back and ready' but I'm not quite there yet! I've been back for a week but let me tell you, the first few days I could do little more than get out of bed and drink coffee. I'm recovering, though, and will soon resume being my productive self. Ugh.
So, mission accomplished down in Cali. The room is restored to functionality. The closet is usable, there is nothing under the bed, the four (yes, 4) dressers contain just a few needful things. It's now possible to sit in the rocking chair - and rock, if so desired!
There is still a bunch of stuff to be gone through, but that is the task of the adult children. So, in other words, nothing will happen. Stasis. Still, it's a functional stasis, so there's that.
I made some interesting discoveries while sorting through stuff.
First, I will say that I have known this family since childhood. I've been friends with the daughter and son for nearly 50 years. Friends with the mom, too. The dad was usually away as he was a marine engineer and worked at sea.
So, when I cleaned out the back room I felt a keen regret for the life the mom wanted to have. It seemed to me that she would have been happy being a ranch wife rather than a rancher. She loved crafts. She was an expert seamstress, she knitted, crocheted, made stuff out of wood, plastic, found materials, etc (I found more than one box full of pine cones, for example). For a while she had a craft business - I found plenty of her old records of purchases and sales. Of course, she made no money doing that. But, I think she enjoyed it.
I formed that opinion based on the evidence in the back room. When I got to the bedroom, I had other evidence to consider.
The woman threw nothing away. Every letter, every card, every receipt, you name it, it was squirreled away in her bedroom. Most of it was very pedestrian and ordinary. I kept the letters the kids had written to her, and the letters the dad had written from sea. I think the kids might like to look through those at some point, but maybe not. That's up to them.
I found some other letters too. I found a series of anonymous letters accusing the mom of breaking up someone's marriage. It was a bit of a shocker! It was virulent and threatening. The letters were full of things like: We know where you were last night; we're watching you; you won't get away with this; etc. I have to say that I didn't expect something like that but when I put it together with some other info, I had a more... nuanced understanding of the mom.
I wasn't sure what to do with those letters. The rancher and her mom already have a rather strained relationship and I certainly don't want to add to it. But, I didn't think it was up to me to dispose of them. So, I put them together and tucked them under some stuff in one of the dresser drawers. It'll be quite a while before anyone looks in there and I can probably retrieve them unread if I change my mind. It's all water under the bridge at this point and I'm not sure what it would serve to bring them to light. I just don't know which way to go on that one.
Oh, how I wish my mom was alive! I really wanted to ask her about their mom and what she knew back in the day. I'm sure she could have provided some context. Maybe I'll ask my mom's best friend. Janet might know, but I don't think she spent any time with the woman back then. Still, we grew up in a small town and everyone usually knows everyone else's business in a small town.
But, why? What the hell difference does it make at this point? None whatsoever. Just curiosity, I guess. It doesn't change the way I feel about the old gal, or change how I interact with her. I guess I see her with more layers now, not just the surface that she presents to the world. Although, given that she is in the depths of dementia, there is not even much of a surface layer any more.
What do you think, wise women? Should I consign the letters to the fire?
So, mission accomplished down in Cali. The room is restored to functionality. The closet is usable, there is nothing under the bed, the four (yes, 4) dressers contain just a few needful things. It's now possible to sit in the rocking chair - and rock, if so desired!
There is still a bunch of stuff to be gone through, but that is the task of the adult children. So, in other words, nothing will happen. Stasis. Still, it's a functional stasis, so there's that.
I made some interesting discoveries while sorting through stuff.
First, I will say that I have known this family since childhood. I've been friends with the daughter and son for nearly 50 years. Friends with the mom, too. The dad was usually away as he was a marine engineer and worked at sea.
So, when I cleaned out the back room I felt a keen regret for the life the mom wanted to have. It seemed to me that she would have been happy being a ranch wife rather than a rancher. She loved crafts. She was an expert seamstress, she knitted, crocheted, made stuff out of wood, plastic, found materials, etc (I found more than one box full of pine cones, for example). For a while she had a craft business - I found plenty of her old records of purchases and sales. Of course, she made no money doing that. But, I think she enjoyed it.
I formed that opinion based on the evidence in the back room. When I got to the bedroom, I had other evidence to consider.
The woman threw nothing away. Every letter, every card, every receipt, you name it, it was squirreled away in her bedroom. Most of it was very pedestrian and ordinary. I kept the letters the kids had written to her, and the letters the dad had written from sea. I think the kids might like to look through those at some point, but maybe not. That's up to them.
I found some other letters too. I found a series of anonymous letters accusing the mom of breaking up someone's marriage. It was a bit of a shocker! It was virulent and threatening. The letters were full of things like: We know where you were last night; we're watching you; you won't get away with this; etc. I have to say that I didn't expect something like that but when I put it together with some other info, I had a more... nuanced understanding of the mom.
I wasn't sure what to do with those letters. The rancher and her mom already have a rather strained relationship and I certainly don't want to add to it. But, I didn't think it was up to me to dispose of them. So, I put them together and tucked them under some stuff in one of the dresser drawers. It'll be quite a while before anyone looks in there and I can probably retrieve them unread if I change my mind. It's all water under the bridge at this point and I'm not sure what it would serve to bring them to light. I just don't know which way to go on that one.
Oh, how I wish my mom was alive! I really wanted to ask her about their mom and what she knew back in the day. I'm sure she could have provided some context. Maybe I'll ask my mom's best friend. Janet might know, but I don't think she spent any time with the woman back then. Still, we grew up in a small town and everyone usually knows everyone else's business in a small town.
But, why? What the hell difference does it make at this point? None whatsoever. Just curiosity, I guess. It doesn't change the way I feel about the old gal, or change how I interact with her. I guess I see her with more layers now, not just the surface that she presents to the world. Although, given that she is in the depths of dementia, there is not even much of a surface layer any more.
What do you think, wise women? Should I consign the letters to the fire?
22 June 2019
What's up, plus a little backstory
Hello Friends!
Let's see, it's June, just past the Summer Solstice. Are you having long, beautiful summer evenings where you are? Or, do you live in the Southern Hemisphere and have winter beating you down? OR, are you in the upper to mid-Atlantic states and have unending rain combined with warm temperatures resulting in paralyzing humidity? Or something else...
I keep looking at the weather in my hometown and it looks perfect. Mid 70's, cloudy with showers... that's how I like it. Unfortunately, I have to look in the newspaper as I am not currently in residence. I am down in that hellhole known as California, specifically the Sacramento Valley. Well, the Sierra foothills, if you want to be specific, but the effect is the same.
It's overly warm here.
What am I doing here, you ask? Well, I came down to help my friend, the Rancher. Her mom is currently residing in an assisted living place and I volunteered to come and help get a grip on the house. Her mom is a hoarder, or at the least, someone who never threw anything away.
Here's the backstory:
I came down here back in March (meant to blog about that trip but was so exhausted I never got around to it) in order to clear out the 'back room' of the house. It's a room that had been added on to their tiny house long before they bought it. It was poorly constructed but it was put to use as a storage room. I know what you are thinking and you are absolutely right. A hoarder with a back room is trouble in the making! Well, that is the truth. The back room was so packed with stuff that one literally could not set foot inside. The mess came up to the doorway.
So, I set to work. There were layers to the hoard and it was a little like archaeology. On the top was the worst layer, the layer where people had recently just tossed stuff into the room from the doorway and walked away. The perimeter and the deeper layers were well organized and packed for storage. But, the Rancher's aunt had died recently and loads of her stuff was superimposed over the existing hoard. I could see the difference between the recent stuff and the original stuff.
It didn't make much of a difference. Old useless crap is old and useless no matter how long it has been sitting in a back room. I'm a good sorter and I divvied things up into useful groupings. Trash, keep, donate, etc. I was lucky enough to find an outfit that did art outreach and accepted many boxes of art supplies.
All in all, I ended up moving a LITERAL ton of material out of the back room. The Rancher has a dump trailer (cue heavenly music) and I filled it up. When she took it to the dump, the weight was 2,144 pounds. Reader, I carried every ounce of that ton!
It wasn't the most fun of visits and I worked my ass off, but it was very satisfying to clear out that room and send so much garbage to the dump. It wasn't all trash and I worked very hard to redirect useful things to appropriate destinations. But, seriously, the woman never threw away a jar. Not just canning jars, but all jars were washed out and stored on shelves, in boxes, in bags, etc. Every mayonnaise jar, peanut butter jar, pickle jar, everything. All washed and put in the back room. That wasn't the worst of it, just an example.
So, yeah, I came here and cleaned up a big mess, but it was only the first mess. Now, I am back and cleaning out the mom's bedroom. Here's how the room was: you opened the door and stepped in the room. The bed was about 4 or 5 feet into the room, bedside table on the left, door to the closet on the right. That was literally the only open floor space in the room. In order to make the bed you had to lie on it, or roll over it and try to squeeze your feet into the piles of stuff on the far side of the bed. It was impossible and a damned fire hazard.
I've been here since late Wednesday, so I've had three days so far to get a grip on it. It is now possible to walk around to the far side of the bed! I have sent a large bag of small clothes home with one of the ranch hands (he has a whole passel of kids to clothe), I have a big stack of boxes and bags to go to the donation place (Goodwill, or whomever), and I have been filling up the trailer again. There won't be nearly as much stuff this time around, but I need to go through it carefully. There is an unbelievable amount of paperwork. For one thing, the woman never threw away a piece of paper. There are receipts and notes and greeting cards dating back to the 1950's. I'll have plenty of interesting things for the Rancher and her brother to sort through and make decisions about, but the big bulk of it is going out. I've found so many brand new, tags-still-on, unworn articles of clothing! I've got a stack to take to the Mom's new home (well, after I wash it all), and it includes shoes and slippers and shirts and pants and shorts, and, and, and... But, the bigger stacks are things that are no longer of use here but might be worth someone else's while. I mean, she'll never wear these 20 coats again but someone else might. I've saved her out a couple that she can wear.
My next step is to gather up the donation items and start taking loads to drop off. That will be satisfying. In the meantime, I'm plugging away at it, reducing the mess bit by bit, bag by bag, box by box. It's slow going but I'm making progress. My back is killing me, though.
If this post is rambling and unintelligible, I apologize. I'm tired and need to lie on the floor for a few minutes. Do a few gentle stretches. Relax and breathe non-dusty air...
I'll make another dent in it tomorrow.
Cheers!
Let's see, it's June, just past the Summer Solstice. Are you having long, beautiful summer evenings where you are? Or, do you live in the Southern Hemisphere and have winter beating you down? OR, are you in the upper to mid-Atlantic states and have unending rain combined with warm temperatures resulting in paralyzing humidity? Or something else...
I keep looking at the weather in my hometown and it looks perfect. Mid 70's, cloudy with showers... that's how I like it. Unfortunately, I have to look in the newspaper as I am not currently in residence. I am down in that hellhole known as California, specifically the Sacramento Valley. Well, the Sierra foothills, if you want to be specific, but the effect is the same.
It's overly warm here.
What am I doing here, you ask? Well, I came down to help my friend, the Rancher. Her mom is currently residing in an assisted living place and I volunteered to come and help get a grip on the house. Her mom is a hoarder, or at the least, someone who never threw anything away.
Here's the backstory:
I came down here back in March (meant to blog about that trip but was so exhausted I never got around to it) in order to clear out the 'back room' of the house. It's a room that had been added on to their tiny house long before they bought it. It was poorly constructed but it was put to use as a storage room. I know what you are thinking and you are absolutely right. A hoarder with a back room is trouble in the making! Well, that is the truth. The back room was so packed with stuff that one literally could not set foot inside. The mess came up to the doorway.
So, I set to work. There were layers to the hoard and it was a little like archaeology. On the top was the worst layer, the layer where people had recently just tossed stuff into the room from the doorway and walked away. The perimeter and the deeper layers were well organized and packed for storage. But, the Rancher's aunt had died recently and loads of her stuff was superimposed over the existing hoard. I could see the difference between the recent stuff and the original stuff.
It didn't make much of a difference. Old useless crap is old and useless no matter how long it has been sitting in a back room. I'm a good sorter and I divvied things up into useful groupings. Trash, keep, donate, etc. I was lucky enough to find an outfit that did art outreach and accepted many boxes of art supplies.
All in all, I ended up moving a LITERAL ton of material out of the back room. The Rancher has a dump trailer (cue heavenly music) and I filled it up. When she took it to the dump, the weight was 2,144 pounds. Reader, I carried every ounce of that ton!
It wasn't the most fun of visits and I worked my ass off, but it was very satisfying to clear out that room and send so much garbage to the dump. It wasn't all trash and I worked very hard to redirect useful things to appropriate destinations. But, seriously, the woman never threw away a jar. Not just canning jars, but all jars were washed out and stored on shelves, in boxes, in bags, etc. Every mayonnaise jar, peanut butter jar, pickle jar, everything. All washed and put in the back room. That wasn't the worst of it, just an example.
So, yeah, I came here and cleaned up a big mess, but it was only the first mess. Now, I am back and cleaning out the mom's bedroom. Here's how the room was: you opened the door and stepped in the room. The bed was about 4 or 5 feet into the room, bedside table on the left, door to the closet on the right. That was literally the only open floor space in the room. In order to make the bed you had to lie on it, or roll over it and try to squeeze your feet into the piles of stuff on the far side of the bed. It was impossible and a damned fire hazard.
I've been here since late Wednesday, so I've had three days so far to get a grip on it. It is now possible to walk around to the far side of the bed! I have sent a large bag of small clothes home with one of the ranch hands (he has a whole passel of kids to clothe), I have a big stack of boxes and bags to go to the donation place (Goodwill, or whomever), and I have been filling up the trailer again. There won't be nearly as much stuff this time around, but I need to go through it carefully. There is an unbelievable amount of paperwork. For one thing, the woman never threw away a piece of paper. There are receipts and notes and greeting cards dating back to the 1950's. I'll have plenty of interesting things for the Rancher and her brother to sort through and make decisions about, but the big bulk of it is going out. I've found so many brand new, tags-still-on, unworn articles of clothing! I've got a stack to take to the Mom's new home (well, after I wash it all), and it includes shoes and slippers and shirts and pants and shorts, and, and, and... But, the bigger stacks are things that are no longer of use here but might be worth someone else's while. I mean, she'll never wear these 20 coats again but someone else might. I've saved her out a couple that she can wear.
My next step is to gather up the donation items and start taking loads to drop off. That will be satisfying. In the meantime, I'm plugging away at it, reducing the mess bit by bit, bag by bag, box by box. It's slow going but I'm making progress. My back is killing me, though.
If this post is rambling and unintelligible, I apologize. I'm tired and need to lie on the floor for a few minutes. Do a few gentle stretches. Relax and breathe non-dusty air...
I'll make another dent in it tomorrow.
Cheers!
19 May 2019
Update, slacker style
Hi Friends!
Here's the poop, in small bite size morsels... doesn't that sound appealing! Ha!
Here's the poop, in small bite size morsels... doesn't that sound appealing! Ha!
- T has a new potential girlfriend! Woo hoo!!! You know how it is when you have ended a relationship but you still feel a little bit responsible for the ex's happiness or well-being. It's such a relief when they hook up with someone else! She still calls me virtually every morning so I am fully up to date on how it's going. TMI? Yep.
- I spent a week in Southern California with my two besties and, for part of the week, my daughter. Love, love, love. (I don't, however, love So Cal. It is SO DIRTY!) The weather was perfect, cool and cloudy almost all of the time. We went to two botanical gardens and that was lovely, spent a day at the horse races where I came out ahead by $1.29 at the end of the day.
- Spring is going like gang-busters here in the PNW. The early bloomers are done but my towering mock orange has just broken out in a spectacular display. Heavenly!
- My friend from New York is coming for a visit!!! She hasn't been to the PNW before so I'll have lots to show her. Super excited! Again, perfect weather is in the forecast -- cool and cloudy with occasional rain. That's what it's really like here, might as well get the true experience.
- A friend from high school has moved to my city and wow, is he busy! He invites me out to places I've never even heard of despite living here for over a quarter century. I've gone out with him a few times. We are getting together next month with another guy from our high school days and I'll admit to being curious about how the two of them interact. They were both closeted gays back then (well, weren't we all?) and now they are most definitely not. We'll be waving the rainbow flag together.
That's all I've got this morning. I could ramble on but I'll spare you that. Plus, I've got to get back to whipping the house into shape. Cheers, m'dears!
17 February 2019
Mid February
I know that writing about the weather is boring but it's so unpredictable these days...
We had a slow start to winter. November, December and January were unseasonably warm and dry. Then February blew in and it all reverted to normal. Ok, not exactly normal, but definitely wetter. We had some snow here in PDX, not a lot but enough to cause a ruckus. Schools were closed, traffic was a nightmare, there were panicked runs on the grocery stores. It was, in fact, the usual Portland panic at the sight of a snowflake. There was a true weather emergency in the Columbia River Gorge though. Heavy snowfall and multiple car/truck accidents shut the highway for something like 18 hours. People were stranded in their cars overnight.
My daughter got waaay more snow in the Puget Sound area. She was hoping to get out on her cross country skis and by golly she did. And then it showed some more. And then some more. They ended up with a couple feet easily. Fortunately, she and her husband can work from home. They got awfully bored but they were safe.
We've had incessant rain after our brief snowfall here in the City of Roses. I was out walking this morning*, though, and saw several signs of spring. Violets are flowering, as are snow drops. Camellias are putting on a fabulous show and hellebores are luxurious. Daffodils and tulips are pushing through the soil. Yep, spring is coming! For all of you in colder, more northern, and snowier climes, chin up! Hopefully, you won't get another visit from the polar vortex.
*Not that I'm opposed to early morning walks in the rain, but I don't usually take those opportunities. However, I am puppy sitting for a friend and the little terror needs lots of exercise. What a good reminder to NEVER get a puppy!
Ok, he's being suspiciously quiet... I'd better go see what trouble he's getting into now. Cheers!
We had a slow start to winter. November, December and January were unseasonably warm and dry. Then February blew in and it all reverted to normal. Ok, not exactly normal, but definitely wetter. We had some snow here in PDX, not a lot but enough to cause a ruckus. Schools were closed, traffic was a nightmare, there were panicked runs on the grocery stores. It was, in fact, the usual Portland panic at the sight of a snowflake. There was a true weather emergency in the Columbia River Gorge though. Heavy snowfall and multiple car/truck accidents shut the highway for something like 18 hours. People were stranded in their cars overnight.
My daughter got waaay more snow in the Puget Sound area. She was hoping to get out on her cross country skis and by golly she did. And then it showed some more. And then some more. They ended up with a couple feet easily. Fortunately, she and her husband can work from home. They got awfully bored but they were safe.
We've had incessant rain after our brief snowfall here in the City of Roses. I was out walking this morning*, though, and saw several signs of spring. Violets are flowering, as are snow drops. Camellias are putting on a fabulous show and hellebores are luxurious. Daffodils and tulips are pushing through the soil. Yep, spring is coming! For all of you in colder, more northern, and snowier climes, chin up! Hopefully, you won't get another visit from the polar vortex.
*Not that I'm opposed to early morning walks in the rain, but I don't usually take those opportunities. However, I am puppy sitting for a friend and the little terror needs lots of exercise. What a good reminder to NEVER get a puppy!
Ok, he's being suspiciously quiet... I'd better go see what trouble he's getting into now. Cheers!
08 January 2019
On the Tube
The television, that is...
Netflix has a new series from the Japanese wonder worker, Marie Kondo. I had been avoiding it, as I did her book, because I don't have a problem with my clutter. Would I prefer that it was less dusty? Yes, of course, but I don't have room in my brain to stress about that. Plus, I found the whole 'does it bring you joy' thing a little precious and gimmicky.
So, feeling skeptical, I decided to see what the big fuss was about. There are a handful of episodes and I chose one with an empty nest couple. I didn't start with the first one because it is a family with toddlers and, thankfully, that is not my life!
The couple, I think their last name is Akiyama, have a large house that was full to the brim. My first thought was, 'Yay! I'm not anywhere near that level of stuff!' It made me feel a tiny bit smug. T always complained that I was a hoarder and that is simply not true. I've been in hoarder houses and mine is not one. She just likes to be mean. Plus, she comes from a family who actively support the disposable lifestyle and that is the diametric opposite of me and my family. (We actually use our old things and prefer to not buy more.)
The process was interesting to watch. The wife had a mountain of clothing. A really astounding number of garments. But, she was quite frank about her love of clothes and shopping and yes, most of the clothes brought her joy. Still she did manage to reduce the sheet numbers and what she kept, while still a staggering amount in my eyes, was organized and accessible.
The husband's big thing was baseball cards. He had a stack of boxes that literally went to the ceiling. I thought he would dig in his heels about paring it down, but he was willing to reduce it. Good for him. He pared it way down; the stack is nowhere near the ceiling now!
Then there were the Christmas decorations. Honestly, it was staggering how many things they had. The wife liked to decorate every room in the house at the holiday and I support her right to do so. But, seriously, that was a lot of nutcrackers! I can't remember how many containers of decorations they kept but it still felt like a lot. However, it was considerably less than they had started with, and everything was neatly put away rather than stacked up higgledy-piggledy through the house.
The best thing about the episode, to me, was the spirit of camaraderie that the husband and wife shared. There was a sense of working together; they were on the same side. It wasn't one spouse pushing the other to get rid of things that they love. They looked like they were both invested in the process and they both benefited from it. It was really sweet! I have such a jaded view of marriage and partnership that it surprised me to see two people working in harmony. I felt a little wistful that I will never have that, but it was somehow comforting to know that it exists in the world.
I realize, of course, that the show is highly edited and the tone is set by what the producers leave in and what they take out. But, I didn't get the sense that the couple had underlying animosity over their collections of stuff. I'm going to go ahead and hold that thought, because it 'brings me joy'... lol.
Next, I'm going to watch the episode with the book collectors. If there is a trouble spot for me it is my personal library. I grew up in a house chock full of books and I inherited a lot of them from my parents. I'm a reader, for certain, and I love books. I have been giving some away lately and need to accelerate that process. The 'little free libraries' around me receive a lot of the books that I pass on, but I could do more.
The other really sticky spot for me is sentimental items. I am not up for tackling that at this point in time. That's where the real baggage comes in.
So, tell me, have you watched this series or read the book? Are you someone who holds on to things? Or do you live with someone like that?
Netflix has a new series from the Japanese wonder worker, Marie Kondo. I had been avoiding it, as I did her book, because I don't have a problem with my clutter. Would I prefer that it was less dusty? Yes, of course, but I don't have room in my brain to stress about that. Plus, I found the whole 'does it bring you joy' thing a little precious and gimmicky.
So, feeling skeptical, I decided to see what the big fuss was about. There are a handful of episodes and I chose one with an empty nest couple. I didn't start with the first one because it is a family with toddlers and, thankfully, that is not my life!
The couple, I think their last name is Akiyama, have a large house that was full to the brim. My first thought was, 'Yay! I'm not anywhere near that level of stuff!' It made me feel a tiny bit smug. T always complained that I was a hoarder and that is simply not true. I've been in hoarder houses and mine is not one. She just likes to be mean. Plus, she comes from a family who actively support the disposable lifestyle and that is the diametric opposite of me and my family. (We actually use our old things and prefer to not buy more.)
The process was interesting to watch. The wife had a mountain of clothing. A really astounding number of garments. But, she was quite frank about her love of clothes and shopping and yes, most of the clothes brought her joy. Still she did manage to reduce the sheet numbers and what she kept, while still a staggering amount in my eyes, was organized and accessible.
The husband's big thing was baseball cards. He had a stack of boxes that literally went to the ceiling. I thought he would dig in his heels about paring it down, but he was willing to reduce it. Good for him. He pared it way down; the stack is nowhere near the ceiling now!
Then there were the Christmas decorations. Honestly, it was staggering how many things they had. The wife liked to decorate every room in the house at the holiday and I support her right to do so. But, seriously, that was a lot of nutcrackers! I can't remember how many containers of decorations they kept but it still felt like a lot. However, it was considerably less than they had started with, and everything was neatly put away rather than stacked up higgledy-piggledy through the house.
The best thing about the episode, to me, was the spirit of camaraderie that the husband and wife shared. There was a sense of working together; they were on the same side. It wasn't one spouse pushing the other to get rid of things that they love. They looked like they were both invested in the process and they both benefited from it. It was really sweet! I have such a jaded view of marriage and partnership that it surprised me to see two people working in harmony. I felt a little wistful that I will never have that, but it was somehow comforting to know that it exists in the world.
I realize, of course, that the show is highly edited and the tone is set by what the producers leave in and what they take out. But, I didn't get the sense that the couple had underlying animosity over their collections of stuff. I'm going to go ahead and hold that thought, because it 'brings me joy'... lol.
Next, I'm going to watch the episode with the book collectors. If there is a trouble spot for me it is my personal library. I grew up in a house chock full of books and I inherited a lot of them from my parents. I'm a reader, for certain, and I love books. I have been giving some away lately and need to accelerate that process. The 'little free libraries' around me receive a lot of the books that I pass on, but I could do more.
The other really sticky spot for me is sentimental items. I am not up for tackling that at this point in time. That's where the real baggage comes in.
So, tell me, have you watched this series or read the book? Are you someone who holds on to things? Or do you live with someone like that?
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