Please...

Please set an intention, say a prayer, hold the good thought for my mom.  She went into the hospital over the weekend for pneumonia and they discovered lung cancer.  We'll know more about what kind and treatment options in a couple of days when the labs are back.

Fuck.

Bit my tongue

So, yes, the Kid left yesterday.  I miss her fiercely.

When T got home from picking up the niece, and they walked in the door, it was all I could do to keep from saying: "Why are you people still here?"

I managed to keep that to myself.  Just barely, but I behaved.  They are trying to be extra nice to me, which I appreciate, but there is no filling of that void with empty words and nice behaviour.

I'll get over it.  I always do.  And, this time I really have something to look forward to: the relocation of the Kid to Portland!  That's what I've got and I'm going with it.

I haz a sad...

I know I should be grateful, and I am.  April was the best month I’ve had in a long time.  My daughter was here for 5 weeks and it was fantastic.  It just felt so right to have her back.

But, tomorrow she is leaving.  She is driving back to Des Moines.  I can already feel ‘the sad’ creeping up on me.  This afternoon I will help her gather up all of her stuff, load some of it into the car, and spend some time just being around her.  Tomorrow we will have breakfast together, finish loading the car, and wave goodbye.  Yes, we will both cry. 

She is planning on moving back to Portland in the next year.  I’m holding on to that thought.