So, last night my daughter called. We chatted about inconsequentials for a few minutes and then she broke the news that they were not going to move back to the Pacific Northwest after all. Instead they were going to move to Dallas. As in Texas. As in Dallas fucking Texas and not Portland or Seattle.
I am so disappointed.
A few months ago she called to say that they had decided to move back to the northwest, probably Seattle. I was ecstatic! So was she! She and the boyfriend are living in Des Moines. Yeah, the one in Iowa. Why, you may ask? Well, the boyfriend got a job there so of course she went with him. They had been living in a Seattle suburb and he couldn’t find a job that he liked that also paid him what he thought was an adequate salary. He does some kind of IT work. Thinks he’s a big shot. So, since he got turned down for the few jobs he deemed worthy of receiving his application, he contacted a recruiter to find him a job. In Des Moines, Iowa, because he has family there. His favorite brother and his least favorite brother live in Des Moines and now his mom does too. So, he wanted to be near his family and wanted Zoe away from hers.
Of course the recruiter was delighted to find him a job in Des Moines. I get the idea that few people are clamoring to move to the center of the country.
So off they go. Yes, there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth round here. My parents and I drove up to Bellevue to help them pack the apartment and load the truck. He was of no use whatsoever. Sat around complaining about how hard it is to move yourself. As if he would know since he wasn’t lifting a finger. No, he left it to me and my seventy something year old father to do the heavy lifting. Oh, he has a bad back… or a bad knee… or both, probably, since he is morbidly obese. Anyway! Off they went.
They stayed in Des Moines for about a year. Then he was dissatisfied with his job and found one in Lansing, Michigan. They upped sticks and moved to Lansing. For a total of six months. Then, guess what, he didn’t like his job so they moved back to Des Moines. They’ve been there about a year, again, this time.
Now he has found a job in Dallas. He spent a lot of years in Dallas. That’s where his ex-wife lives (if she is truly an ex, my suspicion is that they aren’t really divorced). He has friends in Dallas. My daughter? No. She doesn’t have friends in Dallas, she doesn’t have family in Dallas, she doesn’t have a job in Dallas. She doesn’t have shit in Dallas. All she’s got is this lame-ass loser boyfriend in Dallas.
It’s just breaking my heart to see her following this guy around the country. What happened to her dreams? Her goals? She is 25 and he is about 10 years older. They have been together for about 4 years. I can’t tell you one single good thing about him. He is ugly inside and out. He is one of the most selfish people I have ever met. Add to that lazy, cheap with everyone but himself, arrogant, patronizing. Oh, ok, here’s a good thing: he is too selfish to want children. Thankfully. So when she wakes up and gets away from him she won’t be tied to him by that connection.
I could write reams about how thoroughly I loathe this person, but I won’t. Suffice it to say that if he dropped dead tomorrow, I would not shed a tear. Instead, I am shedding many tears about my daughter wasting her young adulthood on someone unworthy. I’m shedding tears over her dropping out of college to trail around after him. I hate the fact that she is squandering her precious self on someone who doesn’t appreciate what a treasure she is. It’s breaking my heart. And it kills me that there is nothing I can do about it.