12 March 2010


First, an apology. I’m sorry I have been so remiss in blogging! I have a lot on my plate right now and am in a bit of a funk, and that combination leaves little resource for putting coherent thoughts together. However, here are a few bullets to just scratch the surface of what’s going on in my tiny world.

• Relationship. When I told T that we needed to see a counselor, it had the effect of making us more sensitive to each other, and kinder in our communication, at least for a while. That effect has worn off, though, and we are back to our reactive patterns. My goal is to have an appointment next week and start really working on these issues.

• Work. ARGH! Still happy to be employed, but the piling on of ever more tasks is wearing me down. Also, our half-time person quit and the rest of the staff and I are taking turns doing her job one day a week. Ends up being a very unproductive day. Get this: she emailed me while she was on vacation to say that a manager in another area would be calling for a reference. Never said a word prior to that, never really turned in her notice. Brat.

• Gym. Thank god for the gym! I have only lost about 5 pounds since the beginning of the year but I know I’ve lost some girth. I can tell by the fit of my blue cords. They slip right on these days… yay! And, I just feel so good after a vigorous workout. Very good for the mental health.

• The Kid. I’m going to visit my daughter for a long weekend in May. I’m so happy about that! I haven’t seen her for a year and a half and that is just killing me. I’m only going for 4 days because I don’t want to be too much of an aggravation ~ plus, I can’t stand the boyfriend. But, she and I have some really fun gardening projects planned. We’re building some raised beds in her back yard! Another Yay!

• Deadlines. I have a deadline of June for completing my apprenticeship in the self defense instructor program. I still have several classes to teach and I am going to be pushing right up against the deadline. I can’t bear the thought of not finishing, though. I have invested a lot of time, energy and tears in this program and it means so much to me on so many levels.

• Societal despair. So damned discouraged over our country and all of the narrow minded bigots with big mouths and no brains. Will we live in a society that values all individuals… in my lifetime? I don’t know.

• Spring. The beauty of spring in Portland, and all the Pacific Northwest, is a life saver. I am appreciating it every day. Flowers, while their evolutionary purpose is to reproduce the next generation, are such a symbol of hope. I keep looking at them and feeling grateful.

• Quote. For no particular reason, let me share with you with this Akira Kurosawa quote that captures me pretty well: "I am not especially strong. I am not especially gifted. I simply do not like to show my weakness and I hate to lose, so I am a person who tries hard. That is all there is to me."

Happy Friday everyone! Happy weekend eve!


8thdayplanner said...

Well, that was a rollercoaster of ups and downs.

Love the quote.

Have a great weekend.

Anonymous said...

I think that having an appointment will be a good thing for both of you.

I'm glad that you have May to look forward to - seeing your daughter is sure to be a positive thing, regardless of the boyfriend.

Keep that chin up and know that spring is coming very soon.

Enjoy your weekend!

Jen said...

A lot on your plate right now. Nothing like a good bulleted list to keep track of things!

Murray said...

You sure do have a lot going on. Hang in there. Spring and weight loss and vacations to visit family are always good things. Gotta focus on the positives, right?

Anonymous said...

I got tired just reading about all the things you are trying to do! I cannot imagine living it! You go girl, am sending you some strength and lovely happy thoughts!

Anonymous said...

I got tired just reading about all the things you are trying to do! I cannot imagine living it! You go girl, am sending you some strength and lovely happy thoughts!

Anonymous said...

ok, so I got invested in your bullet points and am wondering how its all going down?

eb said...

I like the quote too. It resonates.

Grumpy Granny said...

If you have been remiss in writing, I've been doubly so in reading! First I hope you and T can work through your issues with or without a counselor. I have learned that whenever I have an "issue" with anyone, whether partner, co-worker or relative, it's usually because I have that "issue" with myself. I have to agree, though, the "joint at the hip" thing grates on me big time.

Congratulations on still being employed, even though I know that has its own set of issues.

And yes, the quote is marvelous. I love it.

Hang in there and I promise to read more often!