We interviewed three therapists yesterday and have one more today. Man, am I exhausted! I’ve never actually chosen a shrink this way before and while I think it’s much better to be able to make an informed decision, it is hard to keep going over your problems with complete strangers.
Each one was different. So far the first one is the one we liked the best. She was quite participatory in her interaction with us. We are not looking for someone to just spill our guts to and then walk away. No, not into the Freudian method of talk, talk, talk. We want someone to help us understand and change some patterns we’ve fallen into that aren’t working. We need concrete suggestions. This woman understood that. She also says that she uses a collaborative method with couples ~ just using the word “collaborative” was a plus in my opinion.
The second one was lousy and we left there feeling quite depressed. She managed to elicit only negative comments from us and we both felt that this was going to lead us in the wrong direction.
The third was ok, but she was really focused on the fact that T didn’t think we needed counseling and kept on pushing her to explore that. Plus, she has some goofy fee structure that lets her charge more for afternoon and evening appointments and less for mornings. I mean, I get that supply and demand are the forces that drive our economy, but it felt too much like a slick gym membership.
So, we’ve got one more to interview today. She’ll have to be pretty awesome to beat out therapist number one.
In between our appointments two and three yesterday we were going to stop at our favorite used house parts store and look for a window for the upstairs bathroom. On the way over there I said, “Hey, let’s stop in at that new sex toy shop! I would really like a new strap!” Well, really, our relationship can’t be that bad if we are shopping for sex toys in between shopping for therapists. Right? Yes, I did get a new one and some fancy lube, and a little bullet vibrator. Too worn out to try them last night, but I’m hopeful for this afternoon/evening…. TMI? :-)
6 comments:
The fact that you are both willing to work so hard just to find a therapist certainly shows a high level of commitment and desire to improve the relationship. Seems like a strong starting point no matter who you choose.
When Martha and I were having problems, the counselor we saw gave us some great communication 'tricks' which got us out of some long term bad habits. Worked great although we often slip into old habits. *sigh*
Have fun with your toys. Sounds like you folks are on the road to good things.
I agree with 8thday - the dedication you are putting into this is admirable and is a very good sign of a relationship that has great promise. Starting off by finding a therapist together will surely pay off when the meat of the sessions begins. Much luck to you both.
Also, in my opinion, sex talk is rarely tmi. It's the best part! Get wild and have fun.
Just interviewing the therapists together is a bonding thing, huzzah for getting this far!
And enjoy the weekend (wink wink)!
sex solves everything!
So you wear the strap in the family? heheh
It's good that you're interviewing several therapists because a bad therapist (and there are many) can really screw things up. Therapists are a very dangerous lot. The first one sounds like a winner.
Thanks for the encouragement. It does feel positive. Sometimes just doing *something* feels positive.
eb~ we switch it up! however, i wear it more...
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