Partly, I think, it was the way I was raised. My parents didn’t fight much and never in front of us kids. They may have been tense around us occasionally, but there was never shouting, or even bickering for that matter.
And, then I was married to a crazy man for several years and learned more than I ever should have about fighting. And running.
So, to me, when there is shouting and slamming of doors and attitude and petulance and throwing things and bad behavior; to me, it signals the end. It means that we are on that one way path to goodbye.
Mind you, this was between T and the teenager. I can’t blame it all on the teenager, either. But, it’s her family and she is surely used to the way they are by now. I’m the innocent bystander in this latest round of family drama.
I’m tired of it. I’m tired of their family histrionics. I’m tired of it affecting my life.
I’m being supportive of my partner, and attempting to help her get this kid through her freshman year of high school. And, when the kid misbehaves and drama ensues, I am being supportive of my partner by explaining things like consequences. Behavior X results in Consequence X. A parent must be consistent and reasonable in addressing behavior. Tell her what the consequence of her behavior is and then stick to it. Once the kid has chosen to behave badly there is no room for negotiation.
T is just at the beginning of this rough voyage through parental waters. I hope her ship doesn’t capsize. I hope I don’t throw them both overboard. I have been tempted.