No, not Powerball, dang it! I will however be buying a ticket this afternoon for that faint hope.
A friend of ours is on a winning softball team and her team is headed to Madison for the ASANA Softball World Series! Woo Hoo!
Of course, they have to hold a fundraiser in order to get there. So she texts all of us to ask if we’ll join her team at Hot Flash (a big lesbo dance in Portland). Well, we don’t mind going out and dancing, and for a good cause? Oh yeah.
We got there and bought raffle tickets and didn’t win. Looked all over for our friend and didn’t see her. She finally showed up (after a game and in her dusty uniform). She said that her team wasn’t involved in this raffle but were running a separate one and did we want to buy a ticket? T and I gave her $30 and said, sure put us down for however many that buys.
After that we just danced and drank and socialized and had a good time. I forgot all about the raffle. It was held yesterday and we got an excited phone call from the team captain letting us know that we had won. Wow! Not only had we won, but we won the grand prize! Holy smokes! We get two tickets to see Bonnie Raitt in a couple of weeks and a variety of other great stuff! How cool is that?!
In the meantime, Go Swingers!
26 August 2009
20 August 2009
The Daughter's boyfriend
So, last night my daughter called. We chatted about inconsequentials for a few minutes and then she broke the news that they were not going to move back to the Pacific Northwest after all. Instead they were going to move to Dallas. As in Texas. As in Dallas fucking Texas and not Portland or Seattle.
I am so disappointed.
A few months ago she called to say that they had decided to move back to the northwest, probably Seattle. I was ecstatic! So was she! She and the boyfriend are living in Des Moines. Yeah, the one in Iowa. Why, you may ask? Well, the boyfriend got a job there so of course she went with him. They had been living in a Seattle suburb and he couldn’t find a job that he liked that also paid him what he thought was an adequate salary. He does some kind of IT work. Thinks he’s a big shot. So, since he got turned down for the few jobs he deemed worthy of receiving his application, he contacted a recruiter to find him a job. In Des Moines, Iowa, because he has family there. His favorite brother and his least favorite brother live in Des Moines and now his mom does too. So, he wanted to be near his family and wanted Zoe away from hers.
Of course the recruiter was delighted to find him a job in Des Moines. I get the idea that few people are clamoring to move to the center of the country.
So off they go. Yes, there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth round here. My parents and I drove up to Bellevue to help them pack the apartment and load the truck. He was of no use whatsoever. Sat around complaining about how hard it is to move yourself. As if he would know since he wasn’t lifting a finger. No, he left it to me and my seventy something year old father to do the heavy lifting. Oh, he has a bad back… or a bad knee… or both, probably, since he is morbidly obese. Anyway! Off they went.
They stayed in Des Moines for about a year. Then he was dissatisfied with his job and found one in Lansing, Michigan. They upped sticks and moved to Lansing. For a total of six months. Then, guess what, he didn’t like his job so they moved back to Des Moines. They’ve been there about a year, again, this time.
Now he has found a job in Dallas. He spent a lot of years in Dallas. That’s where his ex-wife lives (if she is truly an ex, my suspicion is that they aren’t really divorced). He has friends in Dallas. My daughter? No. She doesn’t have friends in Dallas, she doesn’t have family in Dallas, she doesn’t have a job in Dallas. She doesn’t have shit in Dallas. All she’s got is this lame-ass loser boyfriend in Dallas.
It’s just breaking my heart to see her following this guy around the country. What happened to her dreams? Her goals? She is 25 and he is about 10 years older. They have been together for about 4 years. I can’t tell you one single good thing about him. He is ugly inside and out. He is one of the most selfish people I have ever met. Add to that lazy, cheap with everyone but himself, arrogant, patronizing. Oh, ok, here’s a good thing: he is too selfish to want children. Thankfully. So when she wakes up and gets away from him she won’t be tied to him by that connection.
I could write reams about how thoroughly I loathe this person, but I won’t. Suffice it to say that if he dropped dead tomorrow, I would not shed a tear. Instead, I am shedding many tears about my daughter wasting her young adulthood on someone unworthy. I’m shedding tears over her dropping out of college to trail around after him. I hate the fact that she is squandering her precious self on someone who doesn’t appreciate what a treasure she is. It’s breaking my heart. And it kills me that there is nothing I can do about it.
I am so disappointed.
A few months ago she called to say that they had decided to move back to the northwest, probably Seattle. I was ecstatic! So was she! She and the boyfriend are living in Des Moines. Yeah, the one in Iowa. Why, you may ask? Well, the boyfriend got a job there so of course she went with him. They had been living in a Seattle suburb and he couldn’t find a job that he liked that also paid him what he thought was an adequate salary. He does some kind of IT work. Thinks he’s a big shot. So, since he got turned down for the few jobs he deemed worthy of receiving his application, he contacted a recruiter to find him a job. In Des Moines, Iowa, because he has family there. His favorite brother and his least favorite brother live in Des Moines and now his mom does too. So, he wanted to be near his family and wanted Zoe away from hers.
Of course the recruiter was delighted to find him a job in Des Moines. I get the idea that few people are clamoring to move to the center of the country.
So off they go. Yes, there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth round here. My parents and I drove up to Bellevue to help them pack the apartment and load the truck. He was of no use whatsoever. Sat around complaining about how hard it is to move yourself. As if he would know since he wasn’t lifting a finger. No, he left it to me and my seventy something year old father to do the heavy lifting. Oh, he has a bad back… or a bad knee… or both, probably, since he is morbidly obese. Anyway! Off they went.
They stayed in Des Moines for about a year. Then he was dissatisfied with his job and found one in Lansing, Michigan. They upped sticks and moved to Lansing. For a total of six months. Then, guess what, he didn’t like his job so they moved back to Des Moines. They’ve been there about a year, again, this time.
Now he has found a job in Dallas. He spent a lot of years in Dallas. That’s where his ex-wife lives (if she is truly an ex, my suspicion is that they aren’t really divorced). He has friends in Dallas. My daughter? No. She doesn’t have friends in Dallas, she doesn’t have family in Dallas, she doesn’t have a job in Dallas. She doesn’t have shit in Dallas. All she’s got is this lame-ass loser boyfriend in Dallas.
It’s just breaking my heart to see her following this guy around the country. What happened to her dreams? Her goals? She is 25 and he is about 10 years older. They have been together for about 4 years. I can’t tell you one single good thing about him. He is ugly inside and out. He is one of the most selfish people I have ever met. Add to that lazy, cheap with everyone but himself, arrogant, patronizing. Oh, ok, here’s a good thing: he is too selfish to want children. Thankfully. So when she wakes up and gets away from him she won’t be tied to him by that connection.
I could write reams about how thoroughly I loathe this person, but I won’t. Suffice it to say that if he dropped dead tomorrow, I would not shed a tear. Instead, I am shedding many tears about my daughter wasting her young adulthood on someone unworthy. I’m shedding tears over her dropping out of college to trail around after him. I hate the fact that she is squandering her precious self on someone who doesn’t appreciate what a treasure she is. It’s breaking my heart. And it kills me that there is nothing I can do about it.
19 August 2009
It Never Ends
Just when I think the family onslaught is over, something (someone) totally unexpected pops up.
My brother and his gang left on Saturday. Yay! Then, out of the clear blue sky, T’s long lost half brother blows into town. Turns out his grandmother had died and he wanted to come and pay his respects. He took a bus from Florida to Washington ~ yeah, Washington State. That’s a long damn way.
So, long story medium, he’s out of work and T has a side job that she wants to finish quickly (a bonus for early completion). She has hired him to work with her for the week. That’s all fine, he’s a hard worker and it’s a nice change for her to work with someone instead of on her own. But, he is making noises like he wouldn’t mind sticking around for a month or two to “help her out”. Well, there is not enough work to go around. T has been scraping by, just barely making her bills every month. Honestly, if she wasn’t shacked up with me she’d be in trouble financially. There’s no way that she can keep herself and the old boy busy.
Thankfully, she told him from the get go that he couldn’t stay with us. Yes, we have the space, and yes, we just had my brother and family here, but we are tired. She told him that everyone gets on her nerves and she rather work with him than have him stay. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Because, o.m.g, the man is a talker.
One a side note, he has been telling her some interesting family stories about the old days. Wowser! Talk about ammunition! She’s got some good stuff on her sister now.
I think what we need is a weekend away. It’ll take some organizing, and some money, but it would be worth it. We are both tired and frazzled and need a break. A little sea air would feel good right about now. Excuse me, the beach is calling!
My brother and his gang left on Saturday. Yay! Then, out of the clear blue sky, T’s long lost half brother blows into town. Turns out his grandmother had died and he wanted to come and pay his respects. He took a bus from Florida to Washington ~ yeah, Washington State. That’s a long damn way.
So, long story medium, he’s out of work and T has a side job that she wants to finish quickly (a bonus for early completion). She has hired him to work with her for the week. That’s all fine, he’s a hard worker and it’s a nice change for her to work with someone instead of on her own. But, he is making noises like he wouldn’t mind sticking around for a month or two to “help her out”. Well, there is not enough work to go around. T has been scraping by, just barely making her bills every month. Honestly, if she wasn’t shacked up with me she’d be in trouble financially. There’s no way that she can keep herself and the old boy busy.
Thankfully, she told him from the get go that he couldn’t stay with us. Yes, we have the space, and yes, we just had my brother and family here, but we are tired. She told him that everyone gets on her nerves and she rather work with him than have him stay. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Because, o.m.g, the man is a talker.
One a side note, he has been telling her some interesting family stories about the old days. Wowser! Talk about ammunition! She’s got some good stuff on her sister now.
I think what we need is a weekend away. It’ll take some organizing, and some money, but it would be worth it. We are both tired and frazzled and need a break. A little sea air would feel good right about now. Excuse me, the beach is calling!
14 August 2009
Houseguests
My brother, his wife and their 3 kids are visiting this week. Good times! Well, reasonable times, anyway. They are good houseguests, all things considered, partly because they are spending most of their time with my parents. In fact, my brother and his wife and the youngest kid, a 6 year old boy, are staying at my house and the two girls (ages 12 and 10) are staying with my parents. It’s more of an adventure for the girls that way, and one of them is allergic to cats. We’ve got three.
The days have been going something like this: I get up at 4:45 and take a shower. My brother gets up at 4:55 and goes downstairs to work remotely from his laptop. I get dressed and go downstairs to make the coffee. T gets up and takes her shower. I drink coffee and eat toast and read the parts of the paper that I like for about a half hour. Make my lunch, go upstairs to brush my teeth. T gives me a ride to work. In the afternoon, we get home, have a beer and a cigarette, pet the pets, do a little of this and that. We make and eat dinner. About 8:30 or 9:00 the family shows up, chats for a few minutes and then they go to bed. Very low impact house guests!
Still, having extra people in the house is an exercise in patience and tolerance. First thing in the morning my brother is sitting at the dining room table where I am accustomed to sitting ~ by. my. self. Thankfully, he doesn’t talk much ~ I really prefer not to carry on a conversation until I’ve had a cup or two of coffee. After that, fine. Also, he and his son leave the toilet seat up which drives T crazy. I say better up than peed on. Still, it’s bugging her.
They are also using my car for the week. That’s ok with me because we have two vehicles and I can also take public transportation to and from work. It’s just occasionally inconvenient. But not really a big deal. A funny difference between the girlfriend and me: I would never, ever, park in someone’s driveway unless specifically told that I should. She (and all of her family) would rather park in the driveway even if it blocks the car that’s already there. Even if, like my driveway, the only spot to park in was at a ridiculous slant that makes getting in and out of the car a contortionist’s trick. The first night my brother had the car there was no parking in front of the house so he parked around the corner. T actually went out and moved the car ~ parked it in the driveway. Where she thinks it belongs. We all have our little idiosyncrasies, I guess. My brother and I were raised by a parking fiend. Our dad is a nut about courteous parking. We were never allowed to park in front of someone else’s house. We had to orchestrate our comings and goings so that all of the cars were in the driveway or in front of the house. It makes me crazy when T’s brother comes over and has their mom in the car and parks on the slope of my driveway. First of all, don’t park in the damned driveway, second of all, it’s extremely difficult for your seventy-something year old mother to get in and out at that angle! Argh!
I’ve enjoyed hanging out with my sister-in-law. We spent some quality time, without the kids or my brother, going to fabric stores. Of course they have fabric stores in northern Virginia, but she wanted a variety, something a little different. Their daughters compete in gymnastics and she actually makes their leotards. She is quite a seamstress! I, well, I am a quilter and not a fancy one. But, I found lots of good stuff in the remnants section. Don’t tell T how much I spent; she would be shocked! I need to incorporate it into the fabric collection which will make it pretty much undetectable… not that I need to justify or rationalize my fabric expenditures, I’d just rather not discuss them at all!
I’ve enjoyed seeing the family ~ and yes, I’ll enjoy waving good bye. One thing that leaves me a little wistful is that my daughter wasn’t able to come out this summer. We had the Virginians last summer as well, and Zoe came out for a quick weekend visit. That was a year ago and I haven’t seen her since. Too long! I’ve already started campaigning for one of the upcoming winter holidays. I don’t care if it’s Thanksgiving or Christmas, I want her at home for one of them. Or both! Or moving back in to her old room! I may be getting a little ahead of myself there, but I really would like that :-) At least, I would like it if she moved back without the boyfriend. But, that’s another story and one I don’t want to get started on now.
So, I think we’ll all have dinner together tonight and they are leaving on Saturday and then we will have our house back. Back to naked hot tubbing! Back to showering together! Back to the toilet seat being down all the time! Ah, family ~ gotta love ‘em!
The days have been going something like this: I get up at 4:45 and take a shower. My brother gets up at 4:55 and goes downstairs to work remotely from his laptop. I get dressed and go downstairs to make the coffee. T gets up and takes her shower. I drink coffee and eat toast and read the parts of the paper that I like for about a half hour. Make my lunch, go upstairs to brush my teeth. T gives me a ride to work. In the afternoon, we get home, have a beer and a cigarette, pet the pets, do a little of this and that. We make and eat dinner. About 8:30 or 9:00 the family shows up, chats for a few minutes and then they go to bed. Very low impact house guests!
Still, having extra people in the house is an exercise in patience and tolerance. First thing in the morning my brother is sitting at the dining room table where I am accustomed to sitting ~ by. my. self. Thankfully, he doesn’t talk much ~ I really prefer not to carry on a conversation until I’ve had a cup or two of coffee. After that, fine. Also, he and his son leave the toilet seat up which drives T crazy. I say better up than peed on. Still, it’s bugging her.
They are also using my car for the week. That’s ok with me because we have two vehicles and I can also take public transportation to and from work. It’s just occasionally inconvenient. But not really a big deal. A funny difference between the girlfriend and me: I would never, ever, park in someone’s driveway unless specifically told that I should. She (and all of her family) would rather park in the driveway even if it blocks the car that’s already there. Even if, like my driveway, the only spot to park in was at a ridiculous slant that makes getting in and out of the car a contortionist’s trick. The first night my brother had the car there was no parking in front of the house so he parked around the corner. T actually went out and moved the car ~ parked it in the driveway. Where she thinks it belongs. We all have our little idiosyncrasies, I guess. My brother and I were raised by a parking fiend. Our dad is a nut about courteous parking. We were never allowed to park in front of someone else’s house. We had to orchestrate our comings and goings so that all of the cars were in the driveway or in front of the house. It makes me crazy when T’s brother comes over and has their mom in the car and parks on the slope of my driveway. First of all, don’t park in the damned driveway, second of all, it’s extremely difficult for your seventy-something year old mother to get in and out at that angle! Argh!
I’ve enjoyed hanging out with my sister-in-law. We spent some quality time, without the kids or my brother, going to fabric stores. Of course they have fabric stores in northern Virginia, but she wanted a variety, something a little different. Their daughters compete in gymnastics and she actually makes their leotards. She is quite a seamstress! I, well, I am a quilter and not a fancy one. But, I found lots of good stuff in the remnants section. Don’t tell T how much I spent; she would be shocked! I need to incorporate it into the fabric collection which will make it pretty much undetectable… not that I need to justify or rationalize my fabric expenditures, I’d just rather not discuss them at all!
I’ve enjoyed seeing the family ~ and yes, I’ll enjoy waving good bye. One thing that leaves me a little wistful is that my daughter wasn’t able to come out this summer. We had the Virginians last summer as well, and Zoe came out for a quick weekend visit. That was a year ago and I haven’t seen her since. Too long! I’ve already started campaigning for one of the upcoming winter holidays. I don’t care if it’s Thanksgiving or Christmas, I want her at home for one of them. Or both! Or moving back in to her old room! I may be getting a little ahead of myself there, but I really would like that :-) At least, I would like it if she moved back without the boyfriend. But, that’s another story and one I don’t want to get started on now.
So, I think we’ll all have dinner together tonight and they are leaving on Saturday and then we will have our house back. Back to naked hot tubbing! Back to showering together! Back to the toilet seat being down all the time! Ah, family ~ gotta love ‘em!
05 August 2009
This is why I like my job
Sometimes, I see the better side of people instead of the worse. Today, I was walking down a corridor and passed a mom, grandma and young toddler. The toddler was fussy and wanted to be carried. The mom reached down and picked her up. Then the youngster wanted down. Up, down, up, down. Finally, to distract the kiddo, the mom and the grandma started singing “She’ll be coming round the mountain” at full volume with the little girl chiming in. Mind you, we’re in a public hallway connecting a couple of big hospital wards. Most people walking by just ignored them and carried on with their business.
It made me smile. And sing.
It made me smile. And sing.
31 July 2009
First Impression
I caught a glimpse of deep red and silver high up in a Doug fir tree. My first thought was that it was a robe; a magical person had swooped into the tree and hung their robe on a branch! The breeze turned it back and forth and I realized; it was a deflated mylar balloon.
23 July 2009
Cranky
I woke up in a cranky mood today. I suppose it’s a combination of causes. We slept in the guest room last night, for one thing, and I just didn’t sleep all that well. The kittens kept alternating between snuggling and attacking. I’m not keen about the alarm clock in that room and it’s on the other side of the bed. Add to that the fact that I was irritated with T when we went to bed, and she with me. And that, I suppose, is at the heart of it all.
She was irritated because I was out later than I said I would be. I went over to a teammate’s house so that we could practice a couple of things. We are teaching a class together on Saturday and wanted to iron out who was doing which section. That took a little while. We also went over two forms that she is showing at her upcoming 2nd degree black belt test, for which I am attacking. That took a while too. And, my friend is kind of the chatty type so we wasted some time just… chatting.
Now, I asked T if she wanted to come with me. She didn’t, even though she knows this couple and likes both of them. She was tired and wanted to stay home and watch tv. She also wanted to get in the hot tub for a bit and ease her achy muscles. That’s fine. I’m not insisting that she come when she really would rather not. For crying out loud woman, do what you want to do!
BUT, don’t be petty when I want to do my thing!
Yes, it took longer than I thought it would. So what?! We are not joined at the hip. I refuse to have the kind of relationship where we are in each other’s pocket. I have my outside activities that I was doing before we met and there is no way in the world I’m going to give them up. If she doesn’t have enough stuff going on, too bad. Get something going on. I’ve invited her to train my martial art ~ she is not interested. And, that’s ok. I would love it if she did, but it’s certainly not a deal breaker if she doesn’t.
Partly it’s because T is a real homebody. And, when it comes down to it, so am I. But, I do have an active social life, a wide circle of friends, many interests and some passions. T has a smaller circle of friends and she doesn’t get together with them as often as I do with mine. I think she is used to the kind of relationship where you just revolve around each other. I find that claustrophobic. And boring. Her last girlfriend didn’t live with her but stopped by her house every day after work and spent an hour or two before going home to her three kids. My impression is that T made sure she was home in time for the gf to stop by, always had a cocktail ready, often made her dinner, and never just said something like, “Hey, I’m going out with X and Y after work. I’ll see you tomorrow.” That seems so sad to me.
Also, I’ve been out of a relationship more than in one for many years. I’ve had a few unimportant ones in the last ten or fifteen years, but long stretches of time where I was single. When you are perpetually single, you find things to do. T has been in one relationship after another. Probably should have spent a little time in self-reflection…
I think that I need to educate this woman of mine. I know that she understands intellectually that we can and should have outside interests; she has said as much to me. She has to believe it, though. She has to be happy for me that I have stuff going on that I enjoy. If she is bitter or grudging, or pissy that I have stuff to do, then that is a deal breaker.
She was irritated because I was out later than I said I would be. I went over to a teammate’s house so that we could practice a couple of things. We are teaching a class together on Saturday and wanted to iron out who was doing which section. That took a little while. We also went over two forms that she is showing at her upcoming 2nd degree black belt test, for which I am attacking. That took a while too. And, my friend is kind of the chatty type so we wasted some time just… chatting.
Now, I asked T if she wanted to come with me. She didn’t, even though she knows this couple and likes both of them. She was tired and wanted to stay home and watch tv. She also wanted to get in the hot tub for a bit and ease her achy muscles. That’s fine. I’m not insisting that she come when she really would rather not. For crying out loud woman, do what you want to do!
BUT, don’t be petty when I want to do my thing!
Yes, it took longer than I thought it would. So what?! We are not joined at the hip. I refuse to have the kind of relationship where we are in each other’s pocket. I have my outside activities that I was doing before we met and there is no way in the world I’m going to give them up. If she doesn’t have enough stuff going on, too bad. Get something going on. I’ve invited her to train my martial art ~ she is not interested. And, that’s ok. I would love it if she did, but it’s certainly not a deal breaker if she doesn’t.
Partly it’s because T is a real homebody. And, when it comes down to it, so am I. But, I do have an active social life, a wide circle of friends, many interests and some passions. T has a smaller circle of friends and she doesn’t get together with them as often as I do with mine. I think she is used to the kind of relationship where you just revolve around each other. I find that claustrophobic. And boring. Her last girlfriend didn’t live with her but stopped by her house every day after work and spent an hour or two before going home to her three kids. My impression is that T made sure she was home in time for the gf to stop by, always had a cocktail ready, often made her dinner, and never just said something like, “Hey, I’m going out with X and Y after work. I’ll see you tomorrow.” That seems so sad to me.
Also, I’ve been out of a relationship more than in one for many years. I’ve had a few unimportant ones in the last ten or fifteen years, but long stretches of time where I was single. When you are perpetually single, you find things to do. T has been in one relationship after another. Probably should have spent a little time in self-reflection…
I think that I need to educate this woman of mine. I know that she understands intellectually that we can and should have outside interests; she has said as much to me. She has to believe it, though. She has to be happy for me that I have stuff going on that I enjoy. If she is bitter or grudging, or pissy that I have stuff to do, then that is a deal breaker.
15 July 2009
Attitude adjustment
2/7 vs 5/7. How much of your life do you enjoy? How much of your time is spent waiting or wishing for a different time?
I’ve been thinking lately about the work week vs the weekend and how sad it is to spend five sevenths of one’s time in anticipation of the remaining two sevenths. Those are not good numbers!
The work week is necessary. Work gives structure and purpose to our days and keeps us from becoming sloths. Those are good things. If you are lucky, your work is something you enjoy; something that brings you satisfaction as well as the income needed to sustain life.
I don’t love my job but I do appreciate it. I make a decent wage, not a great wage by any stretch, but enough to live on and carefully thrive (I would like to be able to save more but that hasn’t been happening lately, ahem, hot tub). I have adequate benefits. My coworkers are mostly tolerable and some even more than that. I have an office with a window. Sometimes I even feel like the work we do makes a positive difference in the world.
I work in a teaching hospital. I’m a low level administrator on the school of medicine side. We educate doctors and that has a certain value.
I have been working at my job for a little more than 10 years. Before that I had a different job at the same place. Altogether I’ve been with this employer for 15 years. That’s a long damned time! Considering that when I took the original job I thought I would be there for about two years. Ha! Life sneaks up on you that way, I guess.
I don’t generally torture myself over things like wage disparity but it did come to my attention the other day when I was filling out a reimbursement request for one of my doctors. She gave me a copy of her bank statement to show that she had paid for some books. Her biweekly direct deposit was over $10,000. Yeah. Ten grand twice a month… and she needs reimbursed for books? Fuck.
About ten years ago, one of the previous doctors I worked for was complaining about having his three kids in private school and how expensive it was. I told him that what he earned in a month took me almost all year to earn. I also told him that he better not ever again complain to me about not making enough money, that the disparity between us was so great that the only way he could make up for it was to pay for my daughter’s education as well as his own kids…
OK, this isn’t really about the fact that doctors make more money than I do. It’s not really about money at all. It’s about spending the majority of one’s life doing something that feeds the belly but not the soul. It’s about spending Monday through Friday wishing for Saturday and Sunday.
So, my goal is to appreciate the work that I do. To be present in the moment ~ even though that sounds like hippy dippy mumbo jumbo. To make today as worthwhile as tomorrow. I don’t want to wish away that much of the time I have. And look, I’m at work and managing to find time to ponder these kinds of questions, write about them, and post to my blog!
I’ve been thinking lately about the work week vs the weekend and how sad it is to spend five sevenths of one’s time in anticipation of the remaining two sevenths. Those are not good numbers!
The work week is necessary. Work gives structure and purpose to our days and keeps us from becoming sloths. Those are good things. If you are lucky, your work is something you enjoy; something that brings you satisfaction as well as the income needed to sustain life.
I don’t love my job but I do appreciate it. I make a decent wage, not a great wage by any stretch, but enough to live on and carefully thrive (I would like to be able to save more but that hasn’t been happening lately, ahem, hot tub). I have adequate benefits. My coworkers are mostly tolerable and some even more than that. I have an office with a window. Sometimes I even feel like the work we do makes a positive difference in the world.
I work in a teaching hospital. I’m a low level administrator on the school of medicine side. We educate doctors and that has a certain value.
I have been working at my job for a little more than 10 years. Before that I had a different job at the same place. Altogether I’ve been with this employer for 15 years. That’s a long damned time! Considering that when I took the original job I thought I would be there for about two years. Ha! Life sneaks up on you that way, I guess.
I don’t generally torture myself over things like wage disparity but it did come to my attention the other day when I was filling out a reimbursement request for one of my doctors. She gave me a copy of her bank statement to show that she had paid for some books. Her biweekly direct deposit was over $10,000. Yeah. Ten grand twice a month… and she needs reimbursed for books? Fuck.
About ten years ago, one of the previous doctors I worked for was complaining about having his three kids in private school and how expensive it was. I told him that what he earned in a month took me almost all year to earn. I also told him that he better not ever again complain to me about not making enough money, that the disparity between us was so great that the only way he could make up for it was to pay for my daughter’s education as well as his own kids…
OK, this isn’t really about the fact that doctors make more money than I do. It’s not really about money at all. It’s about spending the majority of one’s life doing something that feeds the belly but not the soul. It’s about spending Monday through Friday wishing for Saturday and Sunday.
So, my goal is to appreciate the work that I do. To be present in the moment ~ even though that sounds like hippy dippy mumbo jumbo. To make today as worthwhile as tomorrow. I don’t want to wish away that much of the time I have. And look, I’m at work and managing to find time to ponder these kinds of questions, write about them, and post to my blog!
14 July 2009
Tub Time
The hot tub works! T finished the last of the cross-bracing and we filled it when we got home last night. Turned it on around 6:30pm. Had just a few moments of not-quite-panic when the jets wouldn’t kick in. We called the spa guy and asked what to do. First he said to turn the jets to high then low a few times and see if that fixed it. Nope. Called him back and he explained to T how to let the air out of the lines at the pump. Did that. Turned it back on and Hallelujah! Frothy water!
It took several hours to get warm. We kept going outside to check it and saying, “another hour.” Finally got in around 10pm, when we should have been getting ready for bed. But, how could we not get in the damned thing?! It was grand! T wanted to just sit and be pummeled by the jets but I couldn’t sit still. I tried floating, sat on the shallower seat (it’s a 3-person, triangular tub), turned all the knobs, turned the light on and off, played footsie with her, ran my hand up her leg, you know ~ immature new toy behavior. What can I say? It was exciting! I’ve never had a hot tub before. We kept looking at each other and grinning and chuckling.
Really, one of the best things about it won’t last long, and that is the fact that it is outside. The wind in the cherry tree was beautiful both visually and aurally. A cool breeze while soaking in hot water is a delicious contrast. But, while being outside has wonderful qualities, it is also too exposed. Not too exposed to the elements, although come fall and winter it would be, but too exposed to the neighbors. Two sets of neighbors can look right into our hot tub. No naked tubbing for us, at least not until we build the sunroom around it.
Note to the Crow: I will not be drowning the brother-in-law in the hot tub ~ no boys allowed!
It took several hours to get warm. We kept going outside to check it and saying, “another hour.” Finally got in around 10pm, when we should have been getting ready for bed. But, how could we not get in the damned thing?! It was grand! T wanted to just sit and be pummeled by the jets but I couldn’t sit still. I tried floating, sat on the shallower seat (it’s a 3-person, triangular tub), turned all the knobs, turned the light on and off, played footsie with her, ran my hand up her leg, you know ~ immature new toy behavior. What can I say? It was exciting! I’ve never had a hot tub before. We kept looking at each other and grinning and chuckling.
Really, one of the best things about it won’t last long, and that is the fact that it is outside. The wind in the cherry tree was beautiful both visually and aurally. A cool breeze while soaking in hot water is a delicious contrast. But, while being outside has wonderful qualities, it is also too exposed. Not too exposed to the elements, although come fall and winter it would be, but too exposed to the neighbors. Two sets of neighbors can look right into our hot tub. No naked tubbing for us, at least not until we build the sunroom around it.
Note to the Crow: I will not be drowning the brother-in-law in the hot tub ~ no boys allowed!
13 July 2009
Good Things
Good thing number one: the dishwasher is in and working! Yay, Yay, Yay!!! My quality time with the dishes will shrink back down to a reasonable level.
I spent the extra money for a dishwasher that can take stemware in the upper or lower racks. Very much worth the price, in my view. We drink a lot of mimosas ~ or, in my case, just plain champagne. Well, right now it’s champagne with either raspberries, blackberries, or strawberries since they are all in season. We don’t generally drink out of flutes unless we have company. We have some glasses that are more like pilsner glasses than flutes ~ very tall and thin. They don’t hold much more than say, a short tumbler, but they are just the right shape for mimosas. But, they didn’t fit well in the old dishwasher so I am pretty happy about that upgrade.
Good thing number two: the hot tub is in! Ok, it’s in place and wired. T’s uncle is an electrician and came over yesterday to put in a new circuit, new GFI box, and wire it up. T finished the deck that it sits on and only has a little bit of cross-bracing to do before we fill it up and turn it on. We’re doing that after work today! I don’t know how long it will take to heat up; I’m guessing several hours. So, we may or may not be able to sit in it tonight. I sure hope so!!! The weather has been cool and either cloudy or rainy for the last few days. So, if the tub doesn’t warm up enough before bedtime it’ll have to be tomorrow.
The sunroom isn’t built yet, so it looks like a deck with a hot tub sitting right outside our living room. It does actually look a little odd. And, I suppose it will look odd to our neighbors for awhile. We live in one of those close in neighborhoods where we can generally see into each other’s yards but are mostly too polite to do so. We will, however, have to wear bathing suits until the room is built and there are blinds on the windows. But, one thing at a time, and right now it’s the tub being hooked up. Yay!
Think of me~ mimosa in hand, warm bubbly water, playing footsie with my girl… oh, yeah!
I spent the extra money for a dishwasher that can take stemware in the upper or lower racks. Very much worth the price, in my view. We drink a lot of mimosas ~ or, in my case, just plain champagne. Well, right now it’s champagne with either raspberries, blackberries, or strawberries since they are all in season. We don’t generally drink out of flutes unless we have company. We have some glasses that are more like pilsner glasses than flutes ~ very tall and thin. They don’t hold much more than say, a short tumbler, but they are just the right shape for mimosas. But, they didn’t fit well in the old dishwasher so I am pretty happy about that upgrade.
Good thing number two: the hot tub is in! Ok, it’s in place and wired. T’s uncle is an electrician and came over yesterday to put in a new circuit, new GFI box, and wire it up. T finished the deck that it sits on and only has a little bit of cross-bracing to do before we fill it up and turn it on. We’re doing that after work today! I don’t know how long it will take to heat up; I’m guessing several hours. So, we may or may not be able to sit in it tonight. I sure hope so!!! The weather has been cool and either cloudy or rainy for the last few days. So, if the tub doesn’t warm up enough before bedtime it’ll have to be tomorrow.
The sunroom isn’t built yet, so it looks like a deck with a hot tub sitting right outside our living room. It does actually look a little odd. And, I suppose it will look odd to our neighbors for awhile. We live in one of those close in neighborhoods where we can generally see into each other’s yards but are mostly too polite to do so. We will, however, have to wear bathing suits until the room is built and there are blinds on the windows. But, one thing at a time, and right now it’s the tub being hooked up. Yay!
Think of me~ mimosa in hand, warm bubbly water, playing footsie with my girl… oh, yeah!
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