I really should take a shower. My hair is sticking up like fried bread. I went to the store like that yesterday because I just don't care. Of course, it's worse today.
I really should drag my ass to work. At least for a few hours. I don't want to be around anyone though. Maybe I'll go in the afternoon when most people are gone. Actually, that's a pretty good idea because it will also get me away from the people in my household.
Sigh. That sounds so grudging and hostile. T is being great, of course, very solicitous, very caring. But she is emotionally needy as well. And is frustrated because she wants to hear all the details and I just don't want to review them. I mean, I told her plenty about the end already but she just wants more than I feel capable of giving. She keeps suggesting that I should 'talk about it'... like a '70's after-school special or something. It's just not my way.
So, if I'm going to try the office today, I'd better not drink quite so much... that'll be my goal.
8 comments:
I think you should give yourself permission to do whatever you feel (or don't feel) like doing right now. There are no rules for grief. Take care of you - everyone else can take a back seat. You are allowed to react to this pain.
Also, dirty hair is a style these days - feel free to sport it for as long as you like.
elizabeth
thank you for your kind comment
xx
hreetings from wales
When my mother died, I likened my response to a wounded animal - I just wanted to be alone and sink within myself - alone to figure out how to deal with the enormity of her absence from my life.
I blame Oprah for the idea that 'talking it out' heals all wounds. It doesn't. You need to do what's right for you.
I think taking a shower would be so much more therapeutic than talking it out. But that's just me.
I can't even imagine . . .
but I don't think talking it out . . . well, that just isn't me.
Take your time.
i would definetly go with the shower as the next step.
i wouldn't plan past that yet.
shower...just go shower :)
I would love to give you great advice on how to grieve but I suck at it. I tend to agree with all the other comments here. A shower and a cup of tea seem like great first steps. And then probably some rest. Lots and lots of rest.
Of course, IF you feel like talking, I'm always here . . .
Thank you, all, for great advice. I know that there is no timeline for this sort of loss, but societal pressures do mount up.
I did shower. Yay for me! I have not yet made it to work. I'll get there. Eventually.
Greg: this hair wasn't stylish, by any stretch of the imagination!
John Gray: I love your blog.
elf: sinking into myself ~ that's a good description.
t.o.d: agreed. thank you.
weese: done :-)
8: tea, yes, good...
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